The signs as things that really happened to Marius Pontmercy

Aries: Suddenly appeared at his friend’s doorstep and proclaimed “I’ve come to sleep with you.”
Taurus: Had an in depth conversation with his brand new girlfriend before even telling her his name.
Gemini: Randomly shouted “Long live the Emperor!” out of the window in the middle of the night.
Cancer: Didn’t understand why girls were looking at him and ran away from them. His friend had to explain to him that the reason girls were staring was that he was actually kind of hot.
Leo: Ordered 100 cards with his name “Le Baron Marius Pontmercy” on them, even though he had no one to give them to.
Virgo: Gave a passionate speech about Napoleon Bonaparte in a room full of young Republicans.
Libra: Didn’t have a black coat he needed, only a green one, so he only went out when it was dark because the darkness made the coat look like it was black.
Scorpio: Got angry and jealous when the wind raised his crush’s skirt a bit because “someone could have seen it”.
Sagittarius: Left an overly long love letter in his crush’s garden beneath a stone.
Capricorn: Was dragged through the sewers of Paris by his future papa-in-law.
Aquarius: Made out with his future papa-in-law’s handkerchief.
Pisces: Slammed his head against a tree for two hours.

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