You enter a brightly light, nondescript room. In the center of the room is a cat. The cat is screaming about something.
You cannot reach the cat.
The cat’s screaming continues.
>SCREAM IN COMPLIANCE.
The cat may want to converse with you. You scream at the cat unintelligibly, as loudly as possible.
The cat seems unperturbed, and responds to your scream by screaming more loudly.
>THROW MOUSE TOY AT CAT
You notice a cat toy on the floor nearby. Hastily, you pick the toy up and toss it to the cat. Unfortunately, you aim poorly in your haste and strike the cat in the face with the toy.
The cat stops screaming. She is not pleased.
Though you have no magical powers that you are aware of, you approach the cat and attempt to cast a spell of Summon Dog. Surprisingly, a small dog appears near the cat.
The cat, perhaps surprised by the dog’s sudden appearance, begins screaming again.
Nearby is a small container of cat food. You present it to the cat, who immediately consumes the entirety of the container and promptly falls asleep.
You have reached the end of the Cat Ownership Simulator. Thank you for playing. For a more realistic experience, we recommend playing the Cat Ownership Simulator every day for the next 15 to 20 years.