here is what sexism does. one day it’s catcalling, and you answer back because it’s not right and you want to fight back. and then the next day it’s a someome telling you to go make him a sandwitch. and for the hundreth time you explain to him all the reasons why the joke is inappropriate. and then the next day a guy at work tells you not to burden your pretty head with difficult issues, and you calmly and eloquently point out sexism to him. and then the next day the cab driver won’t stop asking you for your number. and you lie you have a boyfriend for the milionth time, because you know he won’t back off otherwise. and then the next day your boss mentions a promotion and ‘jokingly’ adds he hopes you’re not planning on having any babies any time soon. you exhale, count to ten, and smile, as you bite your tongue. 

and the next day… and that’s the thing there is ALWAYS a next day, and there is always another battle. and either, you give up, either you quiet down and accept that this is how things are and settle into life; or you give into anger, you stop explaining calmly, you stop smiling, you stop answering – and you start snapping, and yelling back at the catcallers, and calling your boss a sexist asshole. if you accept it – you will be criticized – as unfeminist. if you get angry – you will be criticized – as emotional, unstable, aggressive – too manly. this is what sexism does – it makes it impossible to win if you’re a girl, or a woman, it makes your entire existance an uphill battle. and truth be told, i am getting so fucking tired. i am 23, a quarter of my life behind me, and i am already tired of educating men twice my age about what is right and appropriate. i am tired of the stares that say i am over-reacting, the replies to calm down, the polite smiles that are meant to knock me down a few pegs. i am tired of explaining to men that sexism is not this one incident, it is my entire life, my every single day. i am 23 and i am so fucking exhausted. 

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me to calm down…


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