I know several of you sent me along very encouraging words when I was freaking out about all the mess in my room and hiring an organizer to help me and all, so I thought I’d just give you a brief update since I had my first session with her this morning.
The short version is that it went very well. There’s still a TON to do, but we’ve definitely made progress and that feels SO good. The path from the door to my bed is about twice as wide as it was before and the height of the pile in the front has gone down by at LEAST half. And we cleaned out my entire closet and put most of my clothing away! I also have two HUGE bags of clothes for donation and I threw out a crap ton of stuff, too. And it felt SO GOOD. *_*
The best part of having her there, though, was this: it felt like I had someone giving me permission to just get rid of crap that I don’t want or need. I have so much clothing that I hung onto just because my mother told me I should or because I bought it and wore it like… twice before deciding that I didn’t really like it. And I kept all of it because it would be a waste of money or because my mom might be right and I’d want those polyester work pants eventually and I could never make myself just get RID OF IT. But today I was just like… FUCK ALL OF THIS FOR A LARK, I DON’T CARE, I’M GETTING RID OF SHIT.
Because I can’t live like I’ve been living anymore. It’s not good for me physically or mentally and I need to do something to get my life back. And this is the first big thing. Honestly, it’ll probably take weeks (…months, almost definitely months) to get it all done, but I’ve STARTED and that’s the important thing. So. There we go. My therapist will be so proud of me tomorrow. ^_~