TELEPATHY AU’S

thethoughtrepository:

  • “we’re both in this boring as hell class and out of boredom I accidentally stumbled into your thoughts of you thinking up this masterpiece of a story and holy shit is this like a movie”
    • “additionally, wow are you really getting into this sex scene man how do u not have a boner”
  • “I get chronic headaches from everyone’s thoughts being so loud all the time and sometimes I don’t know, I get angry. is yelling to Stewart across the room to “shut up and go get dick if he wants it so bad” over the top? maybe.”
  • “as if it wasn’t bad enough that I constantly worried what people thought of me, I can actually hear what everyone thinks of me and the fact that it’s unedited and 100% legit makes me real sad to hear people think I’m annoying”
    • “although, it’s really reassuring to also hear how much my friends love me and think I’m funny and woah man…those are some pretty…erotic thoughts of me there…”
  • “okay who fucking let out that I can read minds huh? what do you WANT me to get kidnapped and used for evil? cause i swear i will come back for your ass once im super juiced with their evil government serum alright? i will go winter soldier on ur ass dont test me”
    • “although all these lovesick kids offering to pay for my services on their crushes may be worth it. hey I know you, you’re cute. your crush you say? oh they totally don’t like u, nah man, your barking up the wrong tree right there”
  • “hold the fuck up. hold. up. I can read any mind that I can see, anyone and everyone’s, why can’t I read yours? and why the hell are you smirking at me like that U LIL SHIT THIS MAKES NO DAMN SENSE WHO ARE YOU”
  • “I think you’re cute and I know for a FACT you think I’m cute too so why won’t you just admit it? cmon cmon baby don’t play this charade. you know you can’t win at this game ;)”
  • “as it turns out by my super mind reading powers you plan to string me out high and dry until I’m practically begging for a date and u know what. that is so terrible and so demeaning honestly like who does that. who does that. can you please just kiss me already like-”
  • “I know you can read minds and I really like you so I’m constantly filtering my thoughts whenever I’m with you and it’s super hard so quit making fun of how I think about fighting giraffes okay it’s my go-to thought whenever I imagine you shirtless”
  • “you know I can read your thoughts so we have these little one sided conversations in class as I listen to your cute angered rants and I reply with a snarky side eye”
  • “OR we BOTH can read minds and all the while during class we have casual conversations that sometimes turn REALLY FUNNY AND WE BOTH CRACK UP IN DEAD SILENCE IN THE MIDDLE OF AN EXAM OH SHIT”
  • “YOU LITERALLY HAVE CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELF LIKE YOURE TWO DIFFERENT YET ANGRY PEOPLE AND HONESTLY ITS THE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE HEARD SOMEONE THINK BEFORE JFC LIKE DAMN WHO IS THIS PLASTIC TITTED WHORE WHO STEPPED ON YOUR SHOELACE”
  • “I NEED TO KNOW THIS, OKAY BECAUSE YOUR THOUGHTS ARE LIKE A SHITTY SITCOM AND I CANT HELP BUT LOVE YOU AND LAUGH SO HARD THAT U BEGIN TO NOTICE AND OHSHIT”
  • “i know its pretty invasive but i honestly tune into your thoughts every day on the way to work like its the morning paper cause really we have so much in common its ridiculous and ur super cute and we like all the same things and ugh pls date me”
    • “and oops one day you thought of something funny and we both laughed simultaneously and now ur weirdly suspicious, as i can tell because i can hear you wondering if i can read your thoughts and now ur testing me and idk if i should play along”

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