I am utterly failing even at transcription tonight.  And I just gave my cat the run of the upstairs because he’s been locked in his room away from me all day and the first thing he did was jump up onto the desk from behind me and nearly scatter all my papers everywhere and freak me out and I dumped him right back off the desk, but now my heart is racing and I want to cry because he just wants some love and attention from me after being isolated all day and I SHOULD DO THAT FOR HIM, IT’S NOT HIS FAULT THAT HE’S LONELY, BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO AND I CAN’T DO THIS.  I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH HOURS TO DO THIS AND IT’S ALL MY OWN FAULT AND I JUST WANT TO CURL UP IN A LITTLE BALL OF “NOPE” AND SAY FUCK EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE AND–

…i hate myself right now.

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