instead of a specific fic I want to ask about a fic series–the aro!courf/feuilly one. Can you do questions 3, 5, and 10 for that series?

So, I ended up rereading the first two stories and part of the third in this series, so that took a little longer than I was expecting.  Sorry!  ;D

Answers behind the cut because of length and possible spoilers:

(And if anyone else would like to send me questions, here they are! ^_^)

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?


Right at the top of A Dream Deferred is this little bit.  I honestly just felt like I’d done a good job of showing instead of telling here and that’s something I’d been finding hard to figure out how to do at the time.

Of course, that wasn’t answer enough. This thing between them was still so new, and they were both feeling their way through it, trying to figure out where the boundaries were. So, there was no pressure in Courfeyrac’s voice, but there was concern. It was the same concern Feuilly heard there when Combeferre came to ABC meetings with bloodshot eyes, running on caffeine, sheer cussedness, and precious little else. It was the same concern Feuilly heard there when Enjolras slammed into the Corinthe, ordered a bottle of wine and slumped into a corner to drink his way through his latest disappointment in a world that just couldn’t seem to care.

It wasn’t that Courfeyrac didn’t show concern for everyone in their group. He did. But his concern for Enjolras and Combeferre was… different. It was special. And as much as Feuilly hated knowing that he’d worried Courfeyrac, there was a small part of him that was leaping about like a small boy at Christmas, thrilled that Courfeyrac now showed that same level of concern for him. It meant something. It was a milestone. Feuilly couldn’t return that concern with cold silence.

And especially liked that bit because of how how I got it to echo down into the resolution of their quasi-relationship at the end, because I really enjoy that kind of symmetry from the beginning to the end of a fic.  ^_^

Courfeyrac’s hands tightened almost convulsively on Feuilly’s then, and he ducked his eyes… but not before Feuilly caught the telltale signs of tears. When he recovered himself enough to look back up, Courfeyrac asked, voice rough with those unshed tears, “Are you sure? I can’t… Feuilly I don’t think I have it in me to be a boyfriend. I’ve been trying. I really have, but… it’s just not there. And I do care about you. A lot. The same way I do about Combeferre and Enjolras. But… is that really enough? To know that I love all three of you the same way?” When Feuilly moved to answer, Courfeyrac shook his head. “Don’t… don’t answer right away, OK? I need you to think about this. Really think about it. Because it would destroy me to know that you might miss out on someone who could really make you happy just because you felt obligated to keep a promise to me.”

Feuilly stood up from his chair and pulled Courfeyrac to his feet and straight into a tight hug, smoothing a hand down his back when he started to tremble. “Courfeyrac… did you think I didn’t know that? I’ve watched you with the two of them for years. I know how much they mean to you. I know how much you mean to them. Do you have any idea how long I’ve wished that someone felt that strongly about me? Do you have any idea how honored I’d be for you to list me among their company in your heart? Because I would be.”

From when Feuilly and Courfeyrac are looking at the photo album and Courfeyrac asks about Darnell.  Another spot where I thought I’d done a good job of showing instead of telling – the burgeoning feeling of hope for something better that Darnell had brought back into Feuilly’s life.  ^_^

Feuilly rested his head on Courfeyrac’s shoulder, allowing himself the luxury of staring at that bright smile, the way one long arm draped around a younger, baby-faced Feuilly’s shoulders… at how lurking around the edges of that sullen baby face, there was the barest hint of a smile.

And then this last paragraph from I Shall Give You Wings because EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND I LIKE THAT EVERYONE IS HAPPY AND HOPEFUL AND JUST– I’m glad they all got there.  ^_^

Miguel leaned in to bump Darnell’s shoulder and Darnell just laughed along with him. And, a few minutes—and rounds of teasing—later, as he watched Miguel and Courfeyrac drive away… he marveled. If you’d asked him ten years ago if he’d ever see Miguel laugh like that—free and joyous and so purely happy—he’d have said no. Neither of them had had much to laugh about then. But, now…? For the first time, Darnell thought things just might work out for him, after all. And if Miguel was going to be OK… maybe it was time Darnell took a stab at it, too. He left the restaurant that night with a full stomach, a full calendar, and a full heart… and, for the first time in a long time, feeling like Musichetta’s joke just might be right… and he could fly.

5: What part was hardest to write?

Honestly?  ALL OF I SHALL GIVE YOU WINGS.  It fought me the whole way and I was trying to write it deep in the middle of that period of time when I was convinced that everything I was writing was pure crap and just trivial and banal and plodding and just… boring.  I felt like I was doing all telling and no showing and I used this fic to force my way past it and just put something on paper?  From the perspective of months later, I like it a lot better than I did when I first wrote it, but there are definitely things I would change if I were to go back and do it again.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

This ‘verse started off life as a meme answer, actually.  ^_^  The prompt was Confusion for Feuilly.  (It was your prompt, Ve.  ^_~)  And I knew I wanted to write sick!fic because Ve and I both really like sick!fic and I think I eventually settled on Courfeyrac because you and Ve had both been talking about Courfeyrac/Feuilly a lot and the more I thought about it, the more I liked it.  So, this seemed like a good time to dabble.  And I’d also wanted to write more ace and/or aro Courfeyrac and suddenly BOOM, there was the idea for the confusion in the prompt.  ^_^


A Great and Terrible Price: 1, 4, 6, 10, 13 (all or choose a couple)

Oh wow. I haven’t thought about this story in a LONG time.  ^_^  (For those interested, it’s explicit Jesus/Judas and Judas/Mary JCS fic.  So, you know… read at your own risk. ^_~)

Answers behind the cut.

(And if anyone else would like to send me questions, here they are! ^_^)

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

The beginning of my writing process is always that I get a line stuck in my head.  Usually it’s the opening line to the story.  The style of the story (POV/tense/general language/etc.) usually forms around it.  In the case of this story, the first line that popped into my head was this:

It is a terrible thing, to know when you are a child the exact date and time and place you are to die.

…and that really affected the way the story took shape.  Also that I was telling the story from Jesus’ POV – it felt like there needed to be a bit of weight to the language that I don’t always use.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

Heh.  I just realized that there IS no dialogue in this story until about 2/3 of the way through the first part.  I feel like that may be a common theme for me.  ;D

Anyway, Without getting obsessive about re-reading the whole story, I’ve always loved this bit of Mary’s dialogue:

Before I could give chase, however, a delicate hand alighted on my
arm and arrested my movement.  Mary.  Of course she had witnessed
everything.  After months of being so careful not to show preferential
treatment to one or the other of them, that she should have witnessed
that calculated cruelty on my part was insult added to the injury I had
already done Judas.  It was unforgivable.  I opened my mouth to speak,
to try to explain this all away, but Mary raised her other hand and
covered my lips, shook her head.  Her beautiful, dark eyes were so sad
as she said, “No.  Don’t explain.  Even you could not have words good
enough to explain what I just saw.”

Mary looked off into the
distance and when she looked back… there was disappointment in her
eyes.  She said, “Jesus… you are wise, that is true, but it is an
otherworldly wisdom.  You are not wise in the ways of this world as I am
– as Judas is.  It makes you precious to us both, to all of those who
follow you, but it means that you often do not see the world for what it
is.  Judas, of us all, tries the most to protect you from the world’s
cruel reality.  So, it is doubly cruel that when he is unsuccessful and
you are hurt, that you turn and lash out at the very hand which tried to
protect you.  Perhaps you should take this opportunity to think on why
that is.”  She straightened, eyes determined, “I will go after Judas.  
For now, you have forfeited that right.”  She then gathered her skirts
and took off running, leaving me to ponder both how I could have made
such a terrible blunder… and how Mary had come to care so for Judas
that she would step between us to defend him.

I still love this speech of Mary’s, especially because the reason Jesus and Judas had fought to begin with was because of Mary and Mary was the one who stepped in to defend Judas.  ^_^

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

I’m not so sure anything makes it special?  But I mean… it’s JCS, but at the core it’s Bible porn.  Written from Jesus’ POV.  In first person.  I’m not sure I’d have had the guts to write that if I’d thought too hard about what I was doing.  XD  Also, there is het sex involved, which is not something I normally write.  ^_~

(Although, HAHAHAHA, “Why is the fic different from all other fic?” is very similar wording to the Four Questions and this canon takes place over Passover and that’s HILARIOUS.  XD)

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Oh, that was ALL on the actors playing the characters.  I don’t think I’d have shipped them in these configurations if it hadn’t been for the way the actors portrayed them and, let’s face it, for the relationships between the actors themselves.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I don’t usually listen to music while writing OR reading.  I find it way too distracting, even if it’s just instrumental.  So I actually don’t know?  Maybe a bootleg of the 2012 JCS cast if you can find one?  ^_~

Busy trying to avoid doing work right now (my head just isn’t in the game -.-;;;) and @takethewatch tagged me in this question meme a little while back that I never did, so…  ^_^

Questions under cut

1. What makes you laugh so hard you fall out of your chair?

OMG, I’m embarrassed to say but… fart jokes.  Fart noises.  IT’S TERRIBLE.  All you have to do is mention flatulence in any way and I am GONE.  We’re talking high pitched uncontrollable giggles with the occasional snort.  It’s SO BAD.  /o  *blush*

2. What makes you think maybe you’re in the right place and doing the right thing in the world?

Whenever a student looks at me and says to me, “I hated math until I took your class and now I love it!  BTW, are you teaching pre-calc next year?” or “*pokes head into classroom* OMG, DR. M—, I MISS YOUR CLASS!!”  Comments like that always make me feel like I’m doing what I’m meant to be doing.  ^_^

3. What’s a song that gets stuck in your head all the time?

Nope.  Not falling for that one.  The minute I try to think of one, it WILL get stuck in my head!  😛

If you were going to get a magic tattoo that can be turned off and on
(so if you changed your mind/had to be formal it wouldn’t be a problem),
what would you get?

Oh boy.  I honestly don’t know?  Tattoos and Judaism are two things that DO NOT MIX so even though I admire other people’s art, I’ve never actually wanted one of my own.  BUT, if said magical tattoo was, say… a familiar who just lived on my skin when not out wandering?  THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS.  😀  A cat?  An owl?  An otter?  A dragon?  A unicorn?  I DON’T KNOW.  HOW DO YOU PICK???

5a. What’s your favorite way to drink coffee?

So sweet and so light that you can’t tell it was once coffee (i.e. a Starbucks latte or frappucino).  ^_^

and 5b. What’s your favorite kind of tea?

SO MANY, OMG.  SO, SO MANY.  I love chais and earl greys and the fruity greens and herbals, and hell, after having to drink so much of it when I had laryngitis, even chamomile grew on me.  I also REALLY like the way Adagio makes their blends and allows you to make blends of your own.  So, it’s not so much “what is my favorite kind of tea,” it’s more “what is my favorite kind of tea today?”  ^_~  Though probably my go-to tea that isn’t a fandom blend is Earl Grey Moonlight from Adagio.  IT’S SO YUMMY.  *_*  And it looks really pretty in a glass jar, too.  ^_^

6. What are you scared of?

Things that swing.  It’s completely irrational and ridiculous, but if something starts swinging near me, like an ad hanging from a ceiling or a potted plant, or a wind chime, or the cord from a ceiling fan, or vertical blinds, it induces this immediate heart-racing panic in me.  Things bobbing in water (like dishes in the sink) and helium balloons have the same effect.  And I HAVE to stop the thing swinging or I can’t ignore it.  Balloons have to get tied so tightly to chairs that they can’t move or have to be stuffed under tables.  It’s BAD.  Now ask me how many times I’ve confessed that just to hear friends laugh at me and immediately set something swinging.  “What this?  This scares you?  Really?”  *sets another thing swinging*  *laughs when I run to stop it too*  Also, ask me how much of a nightmare it is to hear my niece ask if we can go to a playground.  *sigh*

Imagine aliens have landed and you get to be cultural ambassador to a
group of them, taking them to some event to help them understand
humanity is.  You decide to mess with their heads and give them the
weirdest–but real–experience of humanity possible.  What do you show

Up until a few weeks ago, I’d have said, take them to a Rocky Horror movie night.  Now it’s a toss up between that and Drunk Shakespeare.  ;D

8. What’s your most reliable go-to recipe, something that will always come out good?

I don’t think I’ve ever had any of the things I cook regularly not come out good?  *knocks on wood*  Although my go-to “I can’t think of anything to eat and nothing sounds good but I have to eat SOMETHING” recipe is to walk over to my mom’s and make pathetic faces at her until she offers to make me matzah brie.  ;D

9. What’s something you’ve done that you’re proud of?

That I taught myself how to bind books.  And am getting good at it.  ^_^  Honestly, mainly the things I’m proud of could be summed up as “taught myself ___insert crafty thing here___.”  ^_^

And, yikes, my brain is way too tired to make up new questions of my own.  -.-;;;  Sorry, @takethewatch.  I know that’s kind of cheating.  -.-;;;  These were fun, though!

I dreamed a dream, or any you still have to do!

I Dreamed a Dream: a book that didn’t live up to your high expectations

Kind of already hit on this with my answer to the “book you read because of the hype,” but that’s not the only one, unfortunately.  Lord of the Rings for sure, too.  I couldn’t get through more than a few pages any time I tried to read them.  -.-;;;  Something about his writing just doesn’t work for me.  And considering that all my friends told me that he was the “father of modern fantasy” and that if I liked fantasy I’d love his books, I was bitterly disappointed by how much I really didn’t.  😛

And I still have like… four I haven’t done yet, so I’ll just pick one more.  ^_^

One Day More: a book that kept you reading into the next chapter (and the next and the next)

(The irony is that this most recently applies to a particular SW fanfic I won’t mention but keep reccing periodically, but THIS IS ABOUT BOOKS.  ^_~)

PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING BY ANNE BISHOP.  OMFG, her writing is like CRACK to me.  I am addicted.  I can’t stay away.  Every time I picked up one of her books, I read it straight through to the end with barely a pause.  (…though I’ll admit that her most recent series didn’t grab me that way, but I’m willing to give it another try eventually.  ^_^)

On my own & bring him home for the book asks :3

Yay!  More books asks!  😀

(If anyone else wants to play, here are the questions: book meme)

On My Own: a ship of yours that isn’t canon

It might be easier to ask me a ship of mine that IS canon.  ;D  I don’t think ANY of the ships I ship are canon.  O_o;;;  Most of my ships are subtext at best?  So… how about a pull up a random book on my Kindle app and pick a ship?  Sound good?  Sounds good.  ^_^

(Used my goodreads list, instead because it had more books ;D) – landed on Corambis by Sarah Monette, and THAT IS A GOOD CHOICE.  Because I ship the hell out of Murtagh and Kay and that is totally not canon, but THEY WOULD BE SO GOOD TOGETHER.  And I felt strongly enough about it to offer it (and write it) for Yuletide last year.  ;D

(This reminds me, I have a Goodreads account.  If anyone’s interested in friending me there, I do actually tend to use it these days.  So, let me know and I’ll let you know where I am.  ^_^)

Bring Him Home: that one character you will do anything to protect


…if by “protect” you mean “want to see them broken, bleeding, and severely emotionally compromised and may even write fic to ensure the above happens?”  Because that is often what I mean by “protect”.  ;D

OK, wait, that’s not entirely true.  I’m currently rereading Elvenblood by Andre Nornton and Mercedes Lackey and I WILL PROTECT SHEYRENA AT ALL COSTS.  She is a precious cinnamon roll and I love her to bits and I am SO FUCKING PROUD OF HER and she deserves ALL THE HAPPIES ALWAYS.  So, yeah.  There you go.  Apparently I do have a subset of characters that I will legitimately protect and not ironically “protect.”  ;D

Confrontation and Do you hear the people sing?

Oh wow!  I ran off to do bookbinding things for a little bit and got two more of these!  😀  Sorry for the delayed response!

Confrontation: your favourite literary duo

I’m with you, @takethewatch.  I’m going to say that this is “a literary duo I love” because there’s no way I could pick just one.  😀  And since the other ask put them front and center in my mind, I’m going to say Crowley and Aziraphale.  Because they are PRECIOUS together and they’re hilarious and they’re SO MARRIED whether you ship them or not and I just love them to pieces.  ^_^

Do You Hear the People Sing?: a book you read because of hype

Oh… this could get me in trouble, but the most recent one is the R.aven C.ycle books.  And I enjoyed them, don’t get me wrong!  But I definitely did not enjoy them to the level that other people seem to be enjoying them.  They were a fun read, sure, but I’m not feeling a pressing need to run out and get the fourth book.  Like… I could wait until it’s out in softcover and not feel like I’m missing out on anything.  *shrugs*  I’ll read it eventually, and I’m sure I’ll enjoy it, but I’m definitely on the side of “it’s a good series, but it’s not worth all hype it gets.”  -.-;;;

for the ask meme: castle on a cloud!

Oooo… a book that comforts me… honestly there are so many!

I think probably my ultimate go-to comfort book would have to be Good Omens.  I know it really well, it’s funny, and it’s just such a satisfying read.  ^_^  I can let it fall open anywhere among its pages and instantly know where I am and there is no part of that book that I don’t like.  ^_^

Also, pretty much anything by Anne Bishop.  Her books are dark and disturbing, but also funny and with SUCH rich world building.  It’s very cathartic for meto read certain parts of certain of her books, which is comfort of a different kind, I think.  ^_^

Anyone else want to play?


YOU.  ^_^  I think you may have been the first person ever to call me “senpai” in any context and I honestly still don’t know what I did to earn that level of regard from you, but holy cow, I hope I’m living up to it.  The truth is that I admire you SO MUCH.  You have this amazing work ethic and drive to improve yourself and I wish I had a little more of that in me.  (Little secret: half the time that my therapist tells me I’ve done a really good thing for myself, or developed a good habit, it was a result of me asking myself what you would do in that situation.  ^_~)  I know things haven’t been easy for you this year, but I feel like I’ve been watching you grow in leaps and bounds, both in skill and in comfort level and personally, and I hope you see the things I see, because I am SO DAMNED PROUD OF YOU, and how far you’ve come, that it makes me tear up, sometimes.  You are an AMAZING person and another person who I feel is a bit of a kindred spirit and I’m so glad I know you!  *hugs*  ^_^


THAT IS MY FAVORITE NUMBER.  XD  Excellent choice.  ^_^

Anyway, first off, thank you for taking a chance on meeting random internet friends last summer!  I had a total blast that day and it was really fun getting to talk to you and be a dork at the Harry Potter photo station.  ^_^  I know we don’t know each other very well, or talk very often, but I feel like whenever we do you always give me great advice, or help me see a problem from an angle I hadn’t considered.  It’s like you’re a voice of reason when I’m flailing and stressed out and I appreciate that.  ^_^