oh, it REALLY is
like, everyone knows Combeferre is ridiculously knowledgeable about everything. And of COURSE Grantaire can do quotes and citations from every book and article he’s read since he was 12, it’s kinda spooky.
But everyone forgets about Bossuet. Everyone forgets he can and does engage everybody in conversation all the time about whatever they’re into, he’s an easygoing guy, he lets other people go on about their interests, and he listens, and he remembers, and now he’s kicking everyone’s ass at this game by your powers combined.
They’re doing it in teams, and somehow they all end up on the same side. It’s a bloodbath.
it happened once. ONLY ONCE. Now they are Not Allowed to be on the same team, and also they have to have on their team at least one (1) of the following players, for balance : Enjolras, Feuilly, Marius, or Joly* (who are of course all terrifyingly smart, but with a much narrower focus of interests than the game really rewards)
Also, following the Great Boardgame Bloodbath of 1829, Joly and Bossuet are Not Allowed to be on the same team, in any game, ever.
*Joly WOULD have a much wider range of interests, but : Med School. He weeps for all the popular entertainment he’s not having time for these days.
A revolutionary’s life is full of the unknown
will I live to see our triumph
are we acting in the proper way at the proper time
what exactly is up with my friend’s hair, is that even a thing hair can do
(I don’t draw anything ever and then this, why does anyone follow me
also Tumblr what are you even doing with my colors)
ugh how the fuck do you cover letter
Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.
I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.
With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.
As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.
I will tell you where I thought I (Luke Skywalker) came in.
there’s all these aus about vader finding luke and smuggling him away to the empire in a clever moment of mental clarity, but please consider this crack au: after being faced with slavery, his mother’s death, tusken raiders, sand, obi-wan kenobi, seeing the larses, and tatooine in general, vader lays eyes on toddler luke skywalker – his son, which meant palpatine lied, holy fuck i’m a father, oh god padme i’m so sorry – and flips.
this is the straw that breaks the semi-rational sith lord’s back. in true anakin skywalker fashion, vader panics, scoops his son into his arms, charges into mos espa and turns it upside down, steals a shuttle from his own fleet, slams random hyperspace coordinates, and is thrown into space with no real idea where he’s going or when he’s going to get there. with a toddler.
to make things more interesting, obi-wan snuck aboard the ship, but dropped his lightsaber in the ruckus of sneaking into imperial ranks. and poor, poor firmus piett, a lowly officer who just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, runs smack into him.
and they’re all stuck on a ship, indefinitely. with a toddler.
sweet baby jesus i love this idea
just vader, picking up toddler luke under his arm like a football, and RUNNING LIKE FUCKING HELL
[darth vader voice] I HAVE YOU NOW
*toddler Luke SCREAMING the whole time*
obiwan just having a nervous breakdown
“what what why are you doing this you’re evil but but what what is this someone shut that child up”
i love that people are contributing this is AMAZING
vader hefts the child into his arms – YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM – and literally turns away from everyone else like a kid with a new mcdonald’s toy. you can’t have him, YOU CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT HIM. luke quiets down because he’s up so high and he can see EVERYTHING and it’s fascinating. luke’s an easily impressed kid, after all. (and there are vents up here that he can nearly reach to crawl through!)
obi-wan: you can’t take luke from me, darth.
vader, probably: LIKE YOU TOOK MY LIMBS???? HUH OBI-WAN????? HUH?????
What if at one point Obi-wan and Vader get all huffy and refuse to speak to each other and Piett has to act as the go between.
vader: tell that washed up old man that i know exactly what i’m doing
piett: yes, lord vader
piett: excuse me, master jedi, but lord vader has everything under control
obi-wan: [huffs] That walking disaster hasn’t had anything under control since he was nine, and you can tell him i said that. In fact, i insist
piett: [looks into the camera like on the office]
oh god i have to write this now. you’ve convinced me, I AM SOLD. THERE IS ALMOST NOTHING BETTER THAN THIS IMAGE.
imagine it gets to the point where vader and obi-wan are screaming at each other with piett stuck in the middle, and luke, his attention torn away from the pretty lights on vader’s chest, clambers up and pats vader right over the respirator. “stop,” luke, a 2 year old, orders, patting sith lord darth vader gently on the face. “is mean,” announces luke.
vader re-settles luke in his arms. “say sowwy,” luke demands. vader, reluctantly, apologizes. he’s not taken with this child at all, obviously he’s just trying to earn luke’s respect, clearly. duh.
luke clambers off vader and toddles to piett to give him the biggest hug. “i sowwy,” says luke, solemnly. piett is about to faint. first lord vader, now the lordling? this is Too Much. vader’s probably giving piett the most terrifying death glare from behind his mask.
with the blessing of the Great and Powerful Luke Skywalker, piett can DEMAND THESE TWO STOP BEING CHILDREN but quietly, with a lot of respect.
obi-wan, meanwhile: i need a drink. i need a whole liquor bottle
I need to draw this
I said I would.
I THINK I’VE DIED AND ASCENDED TO HEAVEN
A Very Astute Observation About Cats, by Victor Hugo
date a guy who is handsome and can draw
date a guy who is a hero to the galaxy
date a guy who praises the ground you walk on
date a guy who loves you more than anything
date a guy who would commit mass murder and betrayal for you
date Anakin Skywalker
#do NOT date Anakin Skywalker
#you will get PREGNANT and DIE
This went from Star Wars to Mean Girls in no time at all
‘The greatest people you will ever meet and the worst. Beware of the Sith’
Raise your hand if you feel personally victimised by Senator Palpatine
Nice wig what’s it made out of?
Chewbakas chest hair
“If you’re voiced by James Earl Jones, why are you white?”
“Oh my GOD Luke you can’t just ask the Lord of the Sith why he’s white”
Get in Skywalker. We’re going Jedi training
i have whiplash from this
This is so perfect.