Things overheard in the music building:




“1/4? Really? Who writes a measure of ¼. WHY would you write a measure of ¼?” 
“Because fuck you that’s why.” 

“I will literally trade you my sandwich for that practice room.” 
“Dude you should eat your lunch.” 
“I won’t be able to eat it if my teacher decapitates me for not practicing JUST TAKE IT.”

“I always wanted to look inside the percussion room. It’s like Narnia, but noisier.” 

“Satan created piccolos to punish the trumpets for their pride.” 

“I’m thinking about dropping music history.” 
“But why, don’t you need that class?”
“Yes but half of it is non-music majors and two people were having a discussion about why there were hashtags at the beginning of the music.”

“So my teacher convinced me to take the History of Rock and Roll over the Summer but it was an online course and he found the webcam filters and inevitably the first unit ended up being taught by a talking dinosaur on my webcam. This man teaches college theory.”

“SHH. Don’t say the theory teacher’s name. He’s like Beetlejuice. If you say it three times he’ll appear behind you and fuck your shit up.”

“I found out Mozart had a butt fetish and I’m never going to be able to stop calling him Mozfart.” 

“If I see a drink within 100 feet of that Steinway I will track you down and beat you with my harpsichord.”  

“Theres no way a tuba can fit in that tiny ass locker.”
“Not with that attitude.”

~somebody accidentally slams the piano keys with the backpack~

“It’s just simple stomps and claps.”
“I’m a SINGER. If I could stomp and clap don’t you think I’d be SOMETHING ELSE?!”

“It’s a simple repetition.”
“You’re a simple repetition.”
“Shut the fuck up.”

Me (drunk in a practice room at 3am because I wanted to see how it felt to play trombone when I can’t feel my face. Also, I’m slamming the piano keys with my forearms): FUCK YOU I’M HENRY COWELL



list of college AUs based on things that have actually happened to me

  • “it’s almost winter and i’m the pizza delivery driver who called you like five minutes
    ago to tell you i’m outside and i’m freezing my ass off here but it turns out that
    you were slow getting outside because you were bringing me hand warmers” au
  • “i’m being forced to go to a poetry reading by this visiting author i’ve never heard of and i’m waiting for it to start when you sit down next to me and i try to make conversation, and yup, you’re the fucking author” au
  • “we’re the only two people in the entire hallway of our dorm who get excited about halloween and one day we end up sitting next to each other in the empty hallway with buckets of candy waiting for trick-or-treaters” au
  • “you’re my professor and you have this really intricate looking tattoo poking out of your shirt but i can’t tell what it is and so after a few weeks it finally drives me insane enough to ask about it and you tell me you’ll explain it at the end of the semester if i get an A” au
  • “our dorms are right next to each other but we barely talk and don’t have much in common except we both have really shitty cars and we always have to ask the other one to jump them.” au
  • “i fucking love fall/halloween and i decorated the front of my dorm but the decorations slowly start disappearing and one day i’m coming back from the bathroom and catch you stealing my miniature pumpkins” au
  • “we both work at this on-campus pizza place and we got stuck working the overnight shift and we start arguing about the best combination of pizza toppings but we can’t decide so we each make our own really weird pizzas and have the drunk kids who come in vote on the best ones.” au