Right. So. Tomorrow’s my first day teaching my methods class in like… 3 years. And I have to be there at 9. Which is that lovely awkward time which will mean I need to leave my house an hour earlier than I should have to. But let’s face it. I’m not going to end up sleeping anyway.
…but on the off chance that I CAN, I should head to bed and start trying. -.-;;;
@rawrded
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Thank you so much for this, I think I really needed to hear it this week. ^^“ also I think I might have forgotten to say this in my pity party but yay for starting teaching!! Congrats!!
*hugs* You’re welcome! I’m glad I was able to help. ^_^
And thanks! I’M SO EXCITED. IT’S THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW AND I HAVEN’T TAUGHT THIS CLASS IN TWO YEARS AND I HAVE SO MANY NEW IDEAS AND I’M SO EXCITED. XD
Guess who officially has a working syllabus for the course she’s teaching this summer and just shipped it off to her boss for vetting?
That’s right! ME! XD
…holy cow, I look pale and tired, though. O_o;;; I think I’m gonna go snuggle with my cat and read. That fixes everything. ^_^ Hope you’ve all be well and sorry my queue’s been lacking in Les Mis today. -.-;;; I’ll fix that for tomorrow.
I was planning to do some writing or something tonight. But this weather has been wreaking havoc with my head. -.-;;; So, instead I think I’m just going to curl up with my cat and watch a fluff movie. Maybe do a little reading. And hope the headache eases. 😛
I hope you’re all well!
Just ordered my textbooks for the summer session class I’m teaching. Suddenly it seems so IMMINENT. O_o;;; I mean… I know it’s not. It’s not for another 2-3 months and I HAVE WAY MORE IMMINENT THINGS TO DO FIRST.
…but damn it, now I’m excited about that class and I WANT TO WRITE THE SYLLABUS and it’s going to be hard enough to get through all the shit I need to get through in the next week or two without getting distracted by other work that I legitimately have to do… BUT NOT YET. *headdesk*
writing “sorry” at the bottom of your math test
Young People Need To Stop Getting Offended: A Wealthy Professor’s Take
where are these wealthy professors though?
They’re all at R1 universities or Ivy Leagues doing research and getting their graduate students to teach your 100 level classes.
“25-Year Old Depressed and Stressed Graduate Students Need To Stop Complaining To Me About How Their Students Are Getting Offended: A Wealthy Professor’s Take” is more like it
Alternately: “I Don’t Give A Shit What You Think You Whiny Little Brats Just Learn The Goddamn Material Because I Teach 9 Classes This Semester At Three Different Colleges Just to Make 20K This Year You Fucking Little Monsters: An Adjunct’s Take”
(I.e., how college education in the U.S. predominantly is going right now)
Holy SHIT today was a long day. O_o;;;
So,
it was my first day back at work and at school today. And I managed
not to get ANY of my work done for school that I was supposed to. So
this morning I got it into my head that my professor was going to
UTTERLY HATE ME if I showed up to class without even trying to talk to
her about it first. So, initially I was going to write her an email
asking to meet with her… and got about three words into said email
before bursting into tears. So, that wasn’t so good. 😛 So, I emailed
her about everything instead. This has been one really fucking hard
month and my anxiety has not been kind. So I spilled all of this to her
in one really long email and her response boiled down to:
“O_O
THAT SUCKS. But your health is more important than anything else, so
we’ll sit down and figure out a way for you to do this. It’s going to
be OK. I got your back.”
And even though I KNEW that was how
she’d respond, I had STILL been expecting the “she’ll hate me” reaction,
so getting that email was somehow a shock? *shakes fist* FUCK YOU,
ANXIETY.
Anyway, I didn’t get that response until later in the
day, so I went off to work as a bundle of frazzled nerves. UGH. Of
course, the first thing my boss does upon seeing me is squeak and run
out of her office to glom onto me in this huge hug and not let go for a
couple of minutes. (Have I mentioned I love my boss? Because I love my
boss. ^____________^) Anyway, I was super early for my class, so I
hung out in the lab and helped with the orientation for the class before
mine and that was fun.
Then I went off my to my own class
for the little intro before bringing them down for orientation, too.
And that went fine (even though like… 12 people didn’t show. Which is
kind of a lot? O_o;;; But whatever. It was the first day). The best
part though, was that during orientation, my boss was just absolutely
singing my praises to my class every chance she got, even going so far
as to say that not only am I an awesome teacher and a great colleague,
but that she considered me her personal friend outside of work, too, and
CAN I TELL YOU I ALMOST CRIED??? Because (AGAIN, FUCK YOU, ANXIETY),
in spite of PILES OF EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY, I still wasn’t sure she
thought of me as a friend even though I think of her as one? So that
was really, really nice to hear. ^_^
After that I went straight
to school and ran into one of my cohort-mates who ALSO glommed onto me
and wouldn’t let go for like 5 minutes and I just… I DON’T
UNDERSTAND. Like… everyone in my cohort was happy to see me and some
of them were VERY happy to see me and not subtle about showing it and I
honestly have spent most of the past year and a half wondering if any of
them actually even LIKE me? What is WRONG with me? UGH. I know. I
know. It’s all my anxiety speaking, but between my boss and my
cohort-mates and my professor today just left me feeling really, really
shaken? Because objectively, IT IS SO OBVIOUS THAT THEY ALL LIKE ME AND
WANT TO SUPPORT ME AND WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TROUBLE SEEING THAT???
So,
basically… I think that’s something to hang onto to remember to talk
to my therapist about when she’s back from vacation. -.-;;;
On
the upside, anxiety aside, today was a pretty good day. And it helped A
LOT to get back into a routine. I LIKE routines. Routines are good.
Routines get me out of my fucking head and ease my anxiety. I need to
try to remember that more often. 😛
Anyway, hopefully the rest of you have been well?
…oh dear gawd.
So, since classes were cancelled today, we’re REALLY going to have to hit the ground running on Wednesday. So, I just sent out an introductory email to my students. Just basic stuff like where our classroom is in case they didn’t see it on their schedule, what to bring to class, etc.
…I’ve already gotten three follow-up emails asking further questions and I feel like I just opened the floodgates. *snerts* At least I know some of my students are checking their school email? And I feel ridiculously proud of them for that alone. Good for you, attentive students! ^_^
On the one hand, three periods off in a row when you’re subbing is nice. OTOH… after two periods off and a big lunch… man I feel sluggish now. And for the last of the three I have supervisory duty in the atrium. Oh well. That should perk me back up, at least. 🙂
eirenical17 