i’m having a really shit night
something’s just… not right in my head right now
i’m a ridiculous ball of depressive anxiety and i’m hungry and queasy at the same time and i can’t stand being in my house because i can’t fucking sit still but there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do and no one to do it with and everything hurts in this vague and annoying way that i can’t really do anything about
*sigh* i wish i could just go to sleep and have a mulligan on this whole fucking shithole of a day
…thanks professor. I REALLY needed that extra kick of anxiety this morning. AS IF I’M NOT ALREADY SICK TO MY STOMACH WITH IT AS IT IS.
Breaking down in tears tally for the day: I
This day has been an utter shithole from start to finish.
I’m so exhausted I’m ready to cry just from that alone. My anxiety is revved up to a fever pitch and every FUCKING little thing is making me jump. And on top of that, I’ve had a headache all afternoon and now it feels like it’s trying to shift into a migraine on me.
I mean… when I got home from dinner I was so physically and emotionally drained I just collapsed onto my bed and couldn’t convince myself to move for about half an hour.
And now that I’ve eaten, I’m even more queasy than I’ve been all day just from nerves alone.
I’m done. I’m so. fucking. done.
Why do I even bother?