23, Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?
oh my god. Bossuet thinks about them on the spot – Joly always thinks about them too late/too slowly, and it’s frustrating to him, so, to compromise, they buy this notepad and put it on the fridge; Joly writes them whenever he thinks about them, leaving them for Bossuet to read when he wakes up in the morning. ❤
Joly and Bossuet in the 25th anniversary (yep, they died together)
“And this crevasse here means that you are very clever but bad at
“Monsieur My Good Doctor,” said Bossuet, “I begin to
entertain doubts regarding the veracity of your science.”
“How can you, when the evidence is so irrefutable?” said
Joly, somehow keeping a straight face. He let his hands continue to roam over
Bossuet’s head, massaging his scalp. “Ah, here we have the oratoris offensatum,
common to men who speak very well and make many enemies.”
“The highest doubts,” continued Bossuet. “I am inviting my
doubts to supper and pouring them the finest wine I own.”
“And here,” said Joly, ignoring Bossuet’s comments, “this
protrusion of the skull indicates that you should kiss your doctor often and
thoroughly. For the sake of your health, I recommend starting soon.”
“Behold, the miracles of science! I am made a believer,”
said Bossuet happily.
one of my fave things about grantaire is his passive aggressive speech at joly and bossuet ‘wow why do young men go marching off to their deaths when they could be HAVING SEX ?? right? you––they, I mean they, i’m talking hypothetically this is all hypothetical, they could be off in the hay instead of getting shot, what dumbasses’
he’s a fucker but it’s notable that he tosses some sweetness enjolras’ way when even his last minute plea for his bffs to save themselves is sassy
be grateful OFPD didn’t end with ‘lmao see I’m capable of dying’
i mean i would jump on this bandwagon and write “joly and bossuet get married so that bossuet can get in-state tuition” but it’s not like they need an excuse
Well, it could be an excuse for doing something so bourgeois, after they’ve been all FREE LOVE?
“is it the gay part”
“do you secretly not like me”
“ugh it’s just so bourgie”
tense discussions about “how will we explain it to our friends” “you know what bahorel says about marriage as an institution” “are we selling out our principles” “is ‘it’s for the tuition’ any -less- bourgeois?”
stop i’m dying
“can we just not tell anyone” “…also does this mean i can be on your health insurance”
“anyway it’s not like we’re going to a church or anything”
“………….is this an awkward time to mention that my mom is a unitarian minister?”
by the end of the month they’re married, have shared health insurance, a house, a dog, and bossuet ended up accidentally missing the enrollment deadline.
Joly blinked at Laigle. “There’s something in your coat sleeve,” he said.
The thing in Laigle’s sleeve mewled piteously and thrashed its tail as Laigle fished it out. It was revealed as a small kitten, only scarcely old enough, in Joly’s opinion, to be taken from its mother. It was all black save for patches of white on its feet and a little white spot near its nose. Laigle had to hold the kitten close to keep it from escaping as he presented it for Joly’s inspection. “Behold, mon Joly, I have brought you a soul mate.”
Laigle had joked often enough that Joly has the soul of cat, but he’d never approached it so…concretely before. “Where did he come from?” It was always a good idea to ask, where Joly’s friends were concerned. Especially Bossuet. He might be a stolen pet of a minister, or a witch’s familiar, or simply the most ill-tempered feline his friend could find.
“My drinking friend Pierre’s cat had kittens. He’s been trying to sell the litter off as rat catchers, like their mother, and this one was the last of the lot. It seemed no one wanted a beast of his color.” Laigle scratched the kitten under its chin in obvious sympathy. It squeaked happily back at him.
“So you bought him?” Joly did have something of a problem with rats. It wasn’t bad idea, come to think of it.
Laigle laughed. “Lord no. As though I had the money! Pierre was going to drown the poor fellow as an omen of bad luck. I told him that as a fellow omen of bad luck I objected on principle, and that if he proposed drowning unwanted nuisances he might start with himself.”
“Did he follow your programme?” asked Joly. He held out a finger cautiously and the kitten sniffed it.
“Alas, no. He condescended to baptize me with a glass of wine, and we agreed that was drowning enough for one night.”
“And he gave you the cat?”
Laigle gave an airy shrug. “I took the cat; he did not object. The legal grounding is tenuous but precedent is ample. Therefore on this rock I will build my church, and in my church I will place this cat.”
“I’m going to have to take bigger rooms if you want to make my apartments into a Basilica. Especially if you keep bringing back new parishioners. I don’t suppose this one pays rent?” The kitten was rubbing against his fingers with remarkable enthusiasm, and Joly couldn’t help scratching it lightly behind the ears.
“No,” replied Laigle, “but I dare vouch that he will work for his bed and board. So you see that he is already an improvement on other of your tenants.”
“Never.” Joly knew he was blushing, a bad habit of his he had yet to find the nostrum to cure. “What could be worth more than your companionship?”
When Laigle smiled – really smiled – it was like sunshine, like a warm cup of tea, like a new discovery that made the whole order of nature clear. “Why, yours, my dearest friend.”
Joly decided to hide the growing redness of his face by pulling Laigle into a kiss. After a few moments Laigle began to laugh, and to breathlessly pull away. The kitten had climbed up the front of his shirt and was stubbornly butting its head against Laigle’s neck. “It seems I have aroused jealousy!” he declared cheerfully. “Didn’t I tell you he was to be your soulmate?”
Joly knelt down to look the kitten in the eye and affected a serious expression. “I’m sorry,” he announced solemnly, “but the position of soulmate is filled.”
“Nonsense,” said Laigle. He held the kitten in check and kissed Joly again. Joly melted happily against him and let himself be thoroughly kissed.
“Is it possible for you to be loved too much?” Laigle asked quietly after the kiss was through. “I think not.”
Joly hummed contentedly, in no mood to disagree.