Not a scratch.
Would you just get goin’, you pirate?
So, the thing is:
-Luke Skywalker is a virgin at twenty-three. And, like, okay, it’s not as though he didn’t have opportunities. He totally had opportunities. After he blew up the Death Star? He could have slept with, like. At least three separate people, if he’d wanted.
-but he politely declined them all, on account of having very stupidly lost his heart to
-A) Han Solo, and
-B) Princess Leia.
-he doesn’t know about the incest yet. He’s nineteen when he joins the Rebellion. He pretty much knows that Han is kind and Leia is good; that there’s a singing, sparking connection that’s drawing tighter every day between the three of them, and he doesn’t know how he loves them but he loves them; doesn’t know how he wants them but he wants them.
-and years go by, fighting the Empire and learning to be a Jedi and loving both of them better and wanting in ways that stay frustratingly inchoate, until all three of them are caught in this weird dissatisfying triangle of love and friendship and loyalty that means they’re circling each other endlessly, waiting for whatever the missing piece is to click into place.
-what I mean by this is: the Rebellion is FULL of jokes about poor baby Luke and his blindingly obvious crushes, and there’s a betting pool on whether it’s Han or Leia that will take pity on him first.
-what I mean by this is: Leia gives Luke a lingering kiss to show Han what he’s missing, and no one’s exactly sure who they’re jealous of, no one’s exactly sure of what they want, or how they want it.
-Leia feels weird about the kiss, even at the time. She decides she feels bad about giving Luke the wrong idea. (She wonders, though. Her connection with Luke is so strong, so clear and good and inevitable.)
-Luke has to pretend to be Han’s boyfriend on a covert mission one time, and it is terrible and wonderful and he almost dies of embarrassment when Han kisses him for the op and he lets out this dumb involuntary little moan, and when the mission’s over Han goes all pink and weird and Luke’s full of misery and want and something almost, almost happens–but then Han takes off for a few months without explanation and Leia broods and yells and when Han comes back they pretend it never happened.
-anyway. this is backstory. this is all in preparation for the party at the battle of Endor, for the utterly knowing look on Lando’s face as he watches Luke watch Han and Leia.
THE KEEP READING THINGY IS WORKING AGAIN GUYS, YOU CAN NOW READ THE ONLY CANON STORY THAT MATTERS
I don’t want a Calrissian daughter. No. That will not do… I WANT A GANG OF DAUGHTERS. CALRISSIAN, SMOOTH TALKING, SAAVY BUSINESSWOMEN. CLOUD CITY QUEENS. Imagine Lando with like, five daughters. The Galaxy isn’t ready…
Amandla Stenberg, Samira Wiley, Nicole Beharie, Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Freema Agyeman as Lando Calrissian’s five daughters.
I can even see it…
Amandla is the dreamer/artist/architect? The baby, obviously. Unplanned, obviously.
Samira is the explorer, the surveyor, the speed racer, the occasional smuggler (Daddy doesn’t know, yet), middle child.
Nicole is the party girl, nocturnal, the card player, closest resemblance to their mother, fourth born, force sensitive.
Gugu is the CFO, the natural moneymaker, future politician, Daddy’s girl, the oldest.
Freema is the engineer, the mechanic, the one who keeps Samira flying fast, second born.
100% certain han and lando once got married for a scam and forgot to have it annulled so they were technically married for several years and one day lando comes in and goes “real quick: are we solo-calrissian or calrissian-solo? also, i want a divorce” and han is like baby no where did i go wrong we can still fix this
My favorite thing about heir to the empire is the fact that down the road lando taught luke how to make hot chocolate