oh, it REALLY is
like, everyone knows Combeferre is ridiculously knowledgeable about everything. And of COURSE Grantaire can do quotes and citations from every book and article he’s read since he was 12, it’s kinda spooky.
But everyone forgets about Bossuet. Everyone forgets he can and does engage everybody in conversation all the time about whatever they’re into, he’s an easygoing guy, he lets other people go on about their interests, and he listens, and he remembers, and now he’s kicking everyone’s ass at this game by your powers combined.
They’re doing it in teams, and somehow they all end up on the same side. It’s a bloodbath.
it happened once. ONLY ONCE. Now they are Not Allowed to be on the same team, and also they have to have on their team at least one (1) of the following players, for balance : Enjolras, Feuilly, Marius, or Joly* (who are of course all terrifyingly smart, but with a much narrower focus of interests than the game really rewards)
Also, following the Great Boardgame Bloodbath of 1829, Joly and Bossuet are Not Allowed to be on the same team, in any game, ever.
*Joly WOULD have a much wider range of interests, but : Med School. He weeps for all the popular entertainment he’s not having time for these days.
okay, no, better yet:
you know, in my head it’s always kind of a choice beween enjolras/feuilly and courfeyrac/feuilly, but.
you can get all the multiships! because then you can have combeferre/bahorel/prouvaire, which is amazing and honestly a little dangerous, and j/b/m/r, which we all know is the real ot4.
-Enjolras who’s afraid that his friends don’t see him as a friend or a fun person to be around but as a leader who doesn’t care about anything other than revolution
-Combeferre who worries that he talks too much about the obscure things he’s interested in and that people tire of him because of it
-Courfeyrac who worries that he’s too talkative and extroverted and clingy but really just wants his friends to know he loves them and wants them to be happy
-Feuilly who worries that he misses too many get get-togethers and hangouts because he’s working all the time and that his friends forget about him
-Bahorel who is afraid that his friends only see the surface of him that’s tough and bro and let’s get wasted
-Joly who worries that he annoys everyone by worrying about germs so much but he can’t help it so he just tries to cover it up by acting super upbeat all the time
-Bossuet who worries that every time he walks into a room his friends think oh no what will he fuck up this time
-Grantaire who worries that he’s too fucked up and depressed for anyone to handle and so he hides when he’s having a really bad day
-Jehan who worries that everyone thinks they’re weak or annoying because he loves love and flowers and poetry
Coffee shop AUs are great but what about Cat café AUs though?
- Jehan Feuilly and Cosette run this very popular cat café that doubles as a tea room. Feuilly is always thorough with the kitties’ vaccinations and health, never straining his fuzzy children when they don’t feel like it
- Enjolras isn’t a cat person by any stretch of imagination but went along to humour Courfeyrac, who’s not so much a cat person than an EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES person.
- So when a cat started to purr against his leg, Enjolras was like “what do I do? Is it going to pee on my leg? Courf what the fuck do I do?!”
- Grantaire is fucking LIVING! He comes for the cats more than the drinks. He always has at least 3 on his lap and 2 kittens in the pockets of his hoodie. He makes very realistic cat sketches that Cosette hangs on the walls.
- Combeferre comes there to study often, telling the cats what he’s studying at the time, especially anatomy so that he can demonstrate: “See, you spine has-Yes, I love you too, but stay in place, so your spine-stop moviiiiing”
- Courfeyrac has the time of his life. He dresses the kitties in the homemade outfits Jehan knits, he babytalks them, he tries to teach them tricks, snapchats pics… He’s often guilty of lion kitting (while singing the opening of “Circle of Life” very loudly)
- Bossuet wants to rename all of them to make a team: “You will be Catain Amewrica, you will be the Sulk, you will be Black Meow….”
- Joly is allergic to cats, so he stays away and requests countless snapchat pics and videos to live the experience through his phone, the poor dear
- Jehan can somehow serve tables with a cat steadily sat on their shoulder??? Some say they have an excellent posture. Others evoke witchcraft. Jehan never denies
- Bahorel wants to adopt each and every single one of the cats. He’s extremely possessive with them “No, no don’t go to Courfeyrac, you love me, remember? Why do you… YOU TWO FACED BASTARD I PETTED YOU FOR AN HOUR!”
- Feuilly is the alpha mom of the pack, all the kitties love him. Everytime he comes up to a table, Feuilly steals the show because the cats are suddenly all over him for cuddles. He loves them dearly and wants them healthy and happy
- Cosette can do sick latte art, notably cat faces with cream, the signature drink of the house. She’s the sweetest with everybody and slips free pastry to children. Always wears cat earings to work.
- Marius is allergic to cats, but he’ll show up anyway. No one can tell if he’s blushing from Cosette’s presence or having a rash
les amis de la cravate
#I like how it’s all carefully tied cravats #and then there’s Enjolras#even Grantaire managed to tie his cravat properly and I bet he wasn’t even sober#get your shit together Enjolras#how do you expect to take control of a revolution when you can’t even keep control of your own cravat