Les Mis + The Onion Headlines (2/?)
I kind of like the idea of and AU in which Les Mis is actually written by Marius. Like as he got older he just had an increasing amount of Feelings About Things and started obsessively researching his mysterious heroic father-in-law, as well as everybody else connected to him and Cosette.
So he traveled around the country interviewing people, looking through documents, checking locations etc. and finally wrote down his own interpretation of the events based on the things he found out or remembered. And because he’s Marius he couldn’t help but address various other things he’d become interested in (like sewers, argot, etc.) and some things he used to be interested in (Napoleon, Waterloo). He also became much more republican and much more conscious of social problems later in life so the book became increasingly about those things too.
… So I guess everything in Les Mis would be from an older Marius’s point of view in this universe. Honestly I think it might explain a lot.
“This is the story of How I Met Your Mother…. And how your grandfather stole a loaf of bread…”
Omg thank you for this addition.
I love it!
Just think of how happy it would make Marius! and how happy Cosette and Courf would be to love him all the time and spoil him and just make sure he knows he’s loved! Courf would definitely spoil them both, and have this wonderful chemistery with Cosette. and with how different Marius and Courfeyrac are, Cosette would never ever be bored and just.
imagine them getting ice cream – they each get a different flavour and end up sharing the three. and they take walks and play tourists in their own city all the time. their entire group chat is just them sharing cute animal gifs ahhhhh
they definitely have kids too. it’s just. they all wanted it so much.
Courfeyrac just turns to Enjolras and Combeferre and lifts his hand up like “What the fuck” in response to Grantaire
the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the
They both TOTALLY LOSE THEIR CHILL. Neither of them knows
how to deal with serious feelings; we see Marius’ disaster feelings with
Cosette in canon, and I tend to think that Courfeyrac’s breezy devil-may-care
attitude is at least partly defense again the fact that emotions are
terrifying. So both of them just turn super awkward and weird around each
other, and each one of them is so into his own awkwardness and trying to hide
everything that neither notices how weird the other is being.
tells their family/friends about their relationship first?
doesn’t actually talk to his family, and all his friends are Courfeyrac’s
friends. Courfeyrac’s friends, however, are a bunch of busybody gossips it’s
impossible to keep anything from for long.
20.What do their family/friends think of their relationship?
doesn’t care so long as Marius doesn’t plan to marry him. He’s all for having
as many affairs as possible, even if some of them are with men. Theodule flirts
shamelessly with Courfeyrac even after finding out he’s taken, much to Marius
continual annoyance. His aunt is scandalized, but she was already perpetually scandalized by Marius’ existence so nothing much is new.
Amis as a collective entity are mildly bemused but supportive. Sure, date the
overly enthusiastic Bonapartist! We all liked him. Just please get him some
less embarrassing politics along the way.
Coffee shop AUs are great but what about Cat café AUs though?
- Jehan Feuilly and Cosette run this very popular cat café that doubles as a tea room. Feuilly is always thorough with the kitties’ vaccinations and health, never straining his fuzzy children when they don’t feel like it
- Enjolras isn’t a cat person by any stretch of imagination but went along to humour Courfeyrac, who’s not so much a cat person than an EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES person.
- So when a cat started to purr against his leg, Enjolras was like “what do I do? Is it going to pee on my leg? Courf what the fuck do I do?!”
- Grantaire is fucking LIVING! He comes for the cats more than the drinks. He always has at least 3 on his lap and 2 kittens in the pockets of his hoodie. He makes very realistic cat sketches that Cosette hangs on the walls.
- Combeferre comes there to study often, telling the cats what he’s studying at the time, especially anatomy so that he can demonstrate: “See, you spine has-Yes, I love you too, but stay in place, so your spine-stop moviiiiing”
- Courfeyrac has the time of his life. He dresses the kitties in the homemade outfits Jehan knits, he babytalks them, he tries to teach them tricks, snapchats pics… He’s often guilty of lion kitting (while singing the opening of “Circle of Life” very loudly)
- Bossuet wants to rename all of them to make a team: “You will be Catain Amewrica, you will be the Sulk, you will be Black Meow….”
- Joly is allergic to cats, so he stays away and requests countless snapchat pics and videos to live the experience through his phone, the poor dear
- Jehan can somehow serve tables with a cat steadily sat on their shoulder??? Some say they have an excellent posture. Others evoke witchcraft. Jehan never denies
- Bahorel wants to adopt each and every single one of the cats. He’s extremely possessive with them “No, no don’t go to Courfeyrac, you love me, remember? Why do you… YOU TWO FACED BASTARD I PETTED YOU FOR AN HOUR!”
- Feuilly is the alpha mom of the pack, all the kitties love him. Everytime he comes up to a table, Feuilly steals the show because the cats are suddenly all over him for cuddles. He loves them dearly and wants them healthy and happy
- Cosette can do sick latte art, notably cat faces with cream, the signature drink of the house. She’s the sweetest with everybody and slips free pastry to children. Always wears cat earings to work.
- Marius is allergic to cats, but he’ll show up anyway. No one can tell if he’s blushing from Cosette’s presence or having a rash
I didn’t see you there, forgive me
#VALJEAN IS LIKE #YOU STEP BACK YOUNG BOY #WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING? #TOUCHING MY LITTLE GIRL? #HOW DARE YOU #I’M AN EX CON #I SPENT 19 YEARS IN PRISON FOR BREAD #I’M TOTALLY READY TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN PRISON BECAUSE I DEFENDED MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL (x)