i was about to joke about how my political stance is “end lawnmower culture” but then it occurred to me that i actually Am against lawns as suburban status symbols and wastes of land that Could be used to sustain native flora & fauna and grow food for people, but no, instead they are these huge useless swaths of land that need Constant maintenance, the process of which is not only destructive, but Incredibly Loud

You know that actually is the purpose of a lawn? They started as a trend of the French monarchy – the ones revolutionaries beheaded for being self indulgent assholes.

It exists purely as a status symbol that says, “I have land but I don’t have to use it for anything productive. I can invest time, money and resources in maintaining an entirely useless crop on land I’m not farming just because it looks pretty.”

Lawns offend me.

Why have that stunted golf course in front of your suburban house if you can’t even water it? Get one of these instead.

Unite Against the Lawn

Pro tiny house, anti grass lawn. Prioritize practicality.

This is actually really interesting because back in the 1950s and 60s in Australia when we started getting large waves of Southern European migrants one thing the Italians and others would often so is buy a little suburban home, then tear out the ornamental flower beds and lawn and useless trees and plant fruits, vegetables, grapes and even olives. It was considered completely scandalous by their Anglo-Saxon neighbours because lawn was considered an aspirational thing and the ideal was to go from not needing a kitchen garden and having an ornamental garden to show how well you were doing.

A lot of places make it illegal to not have a lawn in the U.S.

The first thing I want to say is that I agree with this wholeheartedly.  Lawns are generally wasteful and the only really good use for one that I’ve ever heard is to have a place that your dogs and/or your kids can have some space to run around, play, and be dogs/kids.

My father has always had food gardens at his house.  He grows tomatoes, cucumbers, herbs like mint, basil, and scallions, zucchini, and strawberries.  He also had grape vines for a while.  Instead of dedicated flower beds, we have dedicated fruit and vegetable beds.  We could probably supply tomatoes to half the block and still have more than enough for our own use.

And it’s wonderful to have all that fresh produce available and it’s a HELL of a lot cheaper than buying it all in a store.  The fruits and veggies that come from our garden are SO GOOD and so fresh.  And the herbs that we grow are so much more flavorful than the dried stuff you get at the store.  This coming summer I’m planning to use some of my own yard to plant things that my father doesn’t plant, like eggplant and some of the other squashes.

But here’s the one thing I have to recognize: it’s hard work.  And not everyone has the time or energy for it.  My father’s food beds take up maybe a grand total of 10% of the lawn, if that.  He used to have twice as many beds planted and taking care of it
took a decent portion of his free time in the spring/summer/fall.  He’s
cut back now that he’s older, and it STILL takes a decent amount of time
every day just to harvest what’s grown.  So, yes, I wholeheartedly support the idea of maintaining part or all (if it’s legal) of your land as food-growing land, but I can also understand why one might not.  If you plant as much of your lawn as, for example, that second picture for which I have SUCH ENVY, I can easily see it taking a good portion of the day to take care of it.  So, all I’m saying is that not everyone can devote that kind of time.

If you do, though?  You should totally do the thing.  *nodnod*

(And I am TOTALLY hanging on to that second picture as a dream of what to do with my own lawn someday.  *_*)