Imagine BB-8 rolling up to Rey and Poe like “beep beep beep guess what I just learned” like a small kid and saying “fuck” or something equally as startling for something as cute and important and both Rey and Poe look shocked and Poe’s jaw drops a little and Rey goes “where did you learn that!?” like that’s not something that is supposed to be in a military droid’s basic vernacular and it couldn’t have learned it from humans because most swears don’t compute into droid so it had to be a droid and the proud if scared beeping replies “R2-D2” and the next thing you know both Poe and Rey are running down the base after this ancient droid that’s screaming and beeping frantically like “IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I FUCKING SWEAR”
Luke and Leia dying of laughter in the background.
Force Ghost!Anakin looking sheepish and trying not to laugh too hard because it’s his fault.
You are moping on your island of self-imposed exile, and then this girl shows up.
She’s flying your best friend’s ship. The ship that Han thought he lost for ever. The ship that was stolen and passed through so many hands that he was sure he’d never see it again. The same ship that took you away from home for the first time.
She’s accompanied by your personal droid. The droid you left behind and abandoned. The droid that C-3PO was sure would never be the same again.
She holds out her hand and she’s holding your father’s light saber. The sword you were sure was lost forever. The light saber that you dropped down a bottomless air shaft on a gas giant thirty years ago. The light saber you knew you would never see again.
You look up and you see her eyes. Maz Kanata says that if you live long enough, you see the same eyes looking out of different faces. The girl’s face is different, but those eyes are the same. You know those eyes. They’re the eyes you thought you’d never see again.
And that’s when you know it.
You’re screwed.
They say sometimes the Force works in mysterious ways. Sometimes, the Force will send you little signs. Subtle clues.
Other times, the Force will just beat you repeatedly over the head with a gigantic neon sign that says: “You can’t run away from your past anymore, Luke. I won’t let you. Look, here is your past come back to haunt you. Now deal with it.”
You have no idea how much I adore this post with my whole being
I like the idea of the Force sending Luke little signs over the years that it’s time to return to his loved ones, gently increasing in intensity as he ignores them, until it finally gets fed up and shoves the events of Episode 7 into motion, finishing with a flourish of HERE’S YOUR NEW APPRENTICE, SPACE HOBO.
Aided and abetted by the ghost trio, I imagine. Especially since he did not look at all surprised.
Obi-Wan and Yoda sending him dreams and whispers for 15 years, before an exasperated Anakin pushed them aside “Excuse me, but you two are not very good at dealing with Skywalkers and have amply demonstrated that fact over the decades. We don’t do subtle. *appears giant-size over the sky* That’s it, Luke, we’re sending you all the things! So PULL YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, SON!!”
crying males: “disney is destroying star wars with female leads”
“rogue one also has a female lead? ugh”
“great another mary sue”
me:
I don’t mind if Star Wars has a female lead, as the Star Wars franchise has always been home to strong female characters, I do care if she is another giant Mary Sue like Rey was. Rey was so Mary Sue that it became distracting to the movie. A character with no force training takes down a trained Sith Knight, she flies a freighter designed for two pilots with no help despite the fact she had never left the planet before, and she can also repair said ship with no problem because she had spent years salvaging parts off of a broken star destroyer? The only thing she didn’t do was have all of the male characters try to romance her at once and I thank the force for that small concession.
The only good new character in episode 7 was Finn. The rest of the characterization fell flat or was just used to make Rey ascend to Mary Suedom.
anakin built the worlds fastest pod racer and c3po when he was nine
the first time luke flew a spaceship he destroyed the fucking death star.
Kylo Ren: Not a Sith. Not fully trained. Also? Injured by a bowcaster that we’d seen could take out several stormtroopers at a time.
Rey: Literally spent all of her downtime flying a flight simulator to the point that it could no longer throw anything at her she couldn’t handle. For all kinds of ships. Nor did she solely scavenge star destroyers. She spent her entire life scavenging every imaginable wreck on Jakku, and her survival depended on her learning what ships had what parts and what was valuable. This, while competing with other scavengers, most of them working in teams.
Which meant she had to learn how to fight, or else she wouldn’t have gotten out of childhood.
Basically, Rey had way more in-canon reasoning to be as good as she was than Luke Skywalker did–who basically went from never flying much out of atmo to piloting an X-wing under combat conditions and rocking it… apparently just because of genetics and the Force. Who then went on, only half-trained, into a fight that even YODA thought he was going to die in, and survived, against a man literally birthed by the Force, trained as both a Jedi AND a Sith, with about 25 years of combat experience under his belt, whereas Luke had had a lightsaber for about 3 years. What a Mary Sue he was, huh?
Rey had more reason to be what she was than Anakin Skywalker, who accidentally wound up in a fighter and accidentally destroyed a droid ship. Anakin who was such a Mary Sue he was LITERALLY A VIRGIN BIRTH. How Mary Sue is THAT?
The creators, in short, HAD TO GIVE REASONS for every single thing Rey knew how to do, because of assholes like this person, who would take any special skill she had as proof that she was a “Mary Sue” just because she was a female character. No one bothered to give those reasons to Luke or Anakin. Because they’re the hero. OF COURSE they can do the impossible. But Rey? Jesus, what a Mary Sue.
Reblogged for excellent commentary.
(I’d thought the Rey-hating twerp up there was like sixteen, in which case I’d cut them some slack, but nope turns out they’re in their 40s.)
Finished that video I was talking about earlier. Hope you like it 🙂
SCREAM
SO this vid is basically // PARALLELS!!!!!!! // and it does it really well. I think the best bit was the one where you got to see Rey and Luke getting in touch with the force, their faces do the same sorts of things.
eirenical17 