Me! On why we hate The Devil-Woman Hillary when she’s on the campaign trail, then turn around and laud Bad-Ass Cool Hillary when she gets the job – and what it says about how we view women with ambition and confidence in the world. (Hint: NOT GREAT THINGS.)
I’m gonna just drop in the expanded version of the quote above:
“Campaigning is not succeeding. It’s asking for success, and for power. To campaign is to publicly claim that you are better than the others (usually white men) who want the same job, and that a whole lot of people should work to place you in a more powerful position. In other words, campaigning is a transgressive act for women.”
so we have a conversational safeword in my group of friends and it’s great, idk why more people don’t do this. whenever someone wants a subject to be dropped immediately no questions asked we just say “spleen” and we stop immediately and it’s a really good way to avoid crossing the line between teasing friends and genuinely upsetting them by accident, or stopping debates from turning into actual arguments
Wait but no this is actually a brilliant idea.
When I was a little baby high school student, I used to do the Living Chessboard at our local Renaissance Faire. We always used “forsooth” to indicate if someone was actually injured and needed to quickly end a choreographed fight. It was also very useful when doing little street improvisations because if someone tried to stop you, you could say “forsooth good sir, I must leave.” and they knew you couldn’t do a scene right then. We all used it in real life too, to say “no really” and it was amazing because there was a word used in a casual setting that meant “I’m not playing, I need you do listen to me.” So if someone tried to pick me up or tickle me, I could say “forsooth stop.” And I was instantly obeyed. I had “forsooth” long before I learned what a safeword was, and having a non-sexual safeword for everyday use amongst a circle of friends was the best thing ever. It made me feel very safe and listened to, even as a tiny 14 year old. Because let’s be honest, 14 year old me was teeny tiny and adorable and it’s easy to coo at kids when they say “no don’t pick me up!” but to have a word that every single person respected to mean “whatever I say after this MUST be listened to” was amazing. It gave me a definitive voice when it would have been easy to dismiss me.
So basically having platonic safewords is awesome and I’m all for it.
According to that pairing frequency chart, there is no Feuilly/Joly fic in existence.
Which is too bad, because the ship name could be Feuilllly.
hey team!! cruz went down like the titanic, trump’s got the gop nom locked up, so this seems like a Good Time to remind you:
regardless of your particular feelings about sanders or clinton or sanders/clinton (…ew) or socialism or the zodiac killer, on november 8 2016 you gotta
VOTE DOWN THE TICKET
what does this mean?
it means that the presidential vote is not the most important vote you’ll be doing this november!
cos a WHOLE LOTTA PEOPLE go into the poll booth, mark “dem” or “gop” in the presidential box, and take off. which means that YOUR VOTE FOR
- house of representatives member
- state senator or house of representatives member
- local judge
- city council member
- school board member
- local referendum
- (a.k.a., every vote DOWN THE TICKET)
even if you HATE EVERYONE RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, there is a high chance that there will be someone you don’t hate on the ticket, and you can vote for the lesser of two evils in A FEW RACES and your actual positive favorite in A FEW OTHER RACES
and if you vote DOWN THE TICKET enough then there may be a DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY or even DEMOCRATIC SUPERMAJORITY at the federal level, or a DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY or SUPERMAJORITY in your state government, or a SOCIALIST MAYOR, or LEGALIZATION OF AN IMPORTANT THING, or CRIMINALIZATION OF AN IMPORTANT THING
and things will be a hell of a lot more fun than they were from 2000-2016 (with a brief break for the 2008-2010 democratic majority)!!!!
VOTE DOWN THE TICKET TEAM
i always feel a little iffy about fandom using ‘hard-working’ as Feuilly’s main quality – usually in sortings or ‘les amis as … ‘ posts, ‘cause…
okay, it’s not that he’s not hard-working, because he is! he does so much! and it’s a good quality! but with Feuilly it’s in large part because he has to, because really for him there’s no other choice.
it might work for other characters (no one ever calls Enjolras or Combeferre hardworking when they most definitely are? I wonder why – except no, I know why) saying the main thing about Feuilly is that he’s gounded and hard-working and values hard honest work above everything else, to me, feels like. you take the one guy in the entire group that’s known to be working class, the only one who has to work to survive in a group of privileged students, and the first thing fandom says about this character is like ‘oh boy! he works so much. he loves working to survive, it’s so deeply intrinsic to his personality as to be his main traits. working fullfills him, it makes him happy’. idk. it feels a little like mocking the socioeconomic inequalities that force him to work himself to exhaustion everyday just to survive. especially when you ignore everything else we know about him, his enthusiasm for the outside world, his knowledge, his compassion and his passion for learning, etc. which are, btw, highlighted way more than the hard-working part in the actual text
Recently I’ve seen a number of posts on the subject of giving feedback to writers / artists / creators, and I wanted to add a few thoughts of my own.
First a confession: For the longest time, I was really, really bad about leaving feedback. Not because I didn’t enjoy the stories (I did) or because I didn’t think the writers deserved some appreciation (they do!), but purely because as a reader, I really had no insight on what it’s like on the other side of the “Comment” button.
Now that I have started sending my own writing babes into the world, I have a very different perspective (and am now trying my best to leave feedback on everything I enjoyed). So I thought I’d make a little reference guide on “What I (the Reader) Believed Writers Think About Feedback” vs. “What I (the Writer) Now Know They Really Think”. Maybe you’ll recognize yourself somewhere in there, too…
Reader comments: I loved it 🙂
The Reader believed: Eh. Why are you bothering me? I have important writer things to do.
But the Writer knows: I am so happy to hear that, thank you for taking the time to tell me!
Reader comments: This was so funny / sad / hot!
The Reader believed: I know. That was the point. Why are you bothering me? I have important writer things to do.
But the Writer knows: I made you have a feeling! I made a thing and it touched you! YesYesYes! Thank you for taking the time to tell me that!
Reader leaves kudos / comment on a story that is older than two weeks
The Reader believed: Geez, that one’s ancient. Why are you bothering me? I have important writer things to do.
But the Writer knows: Someone is still reading and enjoying that story! That is so awesome! Thank you for taking the time to tell me that!
Reader leaves kudos on every story in the series / comments on every chapter in the story
The Reader believed: That’s a bit creepy. Please don’t be a stalker.
But the Writer knows: They read one thing and liked it so much they read the others, too, and they liked all of them! Thank you, lovely person, for making my day!
Reader writes long, burbling comment full of exclamation marks!!! and emoticons :-))))) because THEY LOVE IT SO MUCH
The Reader believed: What are you, three? If you expect me to take you seriously, try talking like an adult, please. Also why are you bothering me? I have important writer things to do.
But the Writer knows: YOU BEAUTIFUL TREASURE OF A PERSON I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO TAKE YOU HOME AND FEED YOU CHOCOLATE FOREVER
(Okay, so I haven’t actually had that last one happen to me, but I imagine that is what my reaction would be. Except I probably wouldn’t be quite so restrained.)
Anyone else have that experience? Feel free to add your own 🙂
This is absolutely dead-on accurate. No comments mean you probably thought it was OK but not worth the effort to type something about the story. Kudos are wonderful, don’t get me wrong! But comments? There is nothing like hearing something you wrote touched someone enough that they felt compelled to write something back to you. Even if it’s “I really liked this.” or “This was cute.”
if i see your name a lot i might write for you, writers are so needy, we’ll take anything that isn’t go die in a fire as a massive compliment, and go die in a fire as a minor compliment
Tips for respecting children’s spaces, competence, and general existence from a preschool teacher:
- Listen to them
- Ask them, “Do you want to say hi to your auntie/grandma/cousin/dad/whatevs” (Hint: they will be honest and this can result in a simple hello or a hug or a silly “No!” depending how comfortable they feel)
- If they don’t want to hug you realize it’s not that they don’t love you it’s that they don’t know you/don’t feel like hugging.
- Just like every other person who doesn’t want a hug
- In the event that you need to move a child EXPLAIN TO THEM WHY and WHAT YOU ARE DOING don’t just move them like PROPS they are CHILDREN and NOT props
- For instance, “I’m going to move your chair over so we have room at the table for everyone!”
- Or “Sorry there was a person running by I didn’t want you to get smushed so I had to pick you up!”
- Remind them that they are people not objects using your actions
- Asking children to do something they don’t want to do but NEED to do often doesn’t work, instead give them a choice, “Do you want to eat bok choy or yams?”
- NOT “Do you want to eat your vegetables?”
- “Do you want to brush your teeth in the bathroom or the kitchen”
- This exercises their ever-growing free will and is especially useful during TERRIFIC TWOS okay TERRIFIC not TERRIBLE they’re TERRIFIC
- Children will copy you, MODEL FOR THEM
- Being over enthusiastic IS beneficial for them understanding emotional and social competence
- “I hung this picture uneven, that makes me sad, hmmm! Oh goodie, I found my mistake! Now I can fix it, I’ll feel much happier when I’ve fixed it!”
- You think it sounds ridic yeah well hearing you do that children around you just learned to not get so discouraged by their mistakes and that it’s okay to try to fix them
- ADULTS CAN APOLOGIZE TO CHILDREN
- You make a mistake that hurt a child, APOLOGIZE and show them how to do it properly and genuinely
- Realize children are fully competent and are capable of making meanings from YOUR implications about race, culture, gender, ability, sexuality, EVERYTHING
- Many three year olds know what the N-word is, what gay means, can identify which children are visably disabled, and YOUR REACTIONS of their answers of questions about their culture
- Children like to talk about themselves so do not ever dismiss what they say about themselves as illegitimate just because it sounds silly or unlikely sometimes it’s true
- Stop talking about how you hate children, just leave them alone if you don’t understand them you don’t have to be complete jerks to PEOPLE you’ve never met
- I will post more and if people have question PLS ASK ME I WOULD LOVE TO ANSWER WHAT I KNOW
This is spot on. 10 years as a nanny and this is pretty much what I did. Also guiding them with questions to help develop critical thinking skills:
- “Yes, it does look like fun to climb on top of your cozy coupe, but what do you think might happen if you climb on something with wheels?”
- “And if it rolls away with you on top, where do you think you might go?”
- “What do you think it would feel like to fall off and hit your head?”
It might sound patronizing but children’s prefrontal cortices develop last, and this portion of the brain allows us to think critically, plan, and exercise self control. You can’t expect them to understand the consequences of their actions right off the bat, but using questions helps them to move through, step by step, potential outcomes of their behaviors.
Oh, and praising good behaviors instead of just applying labels:
- In addition to “you’re a great climber!” try “Great job figuring out how to climb to the top of that wall! You saw that your arm couldn’t reach the next handhold so you used your legs to push yourself up instead!”
- or in addition to “you’re a talented singer” try “I’m proud of how hard you’ve worked to learn that song. You stuck with it and kept trying until you memorized it and could do it exactly how you wanted.”
Don’t just reward kids for doing well, teach kids how to do well by praising the behaviors that worked for them.
I love this.
I need to show this to my parents (but I won’t). I was expected to show responsibility for my actions as a toddler. (Also, that fall really, really hurts. I have no clue how much damage a faceplant on a stone floor can do, because instead of an er trip, I got two black eyes and, “Shouldn’t’a done that!”)