replied to your post
“@takethewatch replied to your post “[[MO Literally. FUCK….”

ugh, how childish and inconsiderate! 😦 I’m so sorry. I hope you’re feeling a little better now. *tight hugs*

It really, really was.  *hugs*  But I did feel much better after I
woke up this morning.  (And when I woke up with cramps, suddenly the
wild emotional swings of last night made sense.  -.-;;;  Fuck, I”m so
predictable with those mood swings, it’s ridiculous.  I should have
known last night.  UGH.)

But yeah, I also expressed my displeasure
to the professor and the BEST thing was her advice: “well you should
picture it as something else when you run the example” and I just
STARED.  Like… I’D FUCKING LOVE TO.  But the blatantly sexual jokes
constantly flying around the room made that a bit difficult, you know?  
And on top of that, this was a topic we’d never been taught, that I
didn’t understand, and my classmates were, no offense to them, doing a
HORRIBLE job teaching it and were going way too fast and were
contributing to and playing into the awful jokes.

So I tuned them
out as best I could and started running a different example the way I
remember the professor teaching me to do it earlier and thought I’d
mostly gotten the hang of it.  BUT, I can’t tune out the class, tune out
the people teaching, TEACH MYSELF THE THING, create class notes to help
my friends who’ll need them later, AND mentally rewrite the examples
I’ve been given at the same time.  

Which is what I told her, in a nutshell.  And after that little speech, I
think she realized how ridiculous a suggestion that was to begin with.

a student just told you that a topic in class triggered her into an
anxiety attack and the best you’ve got is “pretend it’s something
else?”  *headdesk*  Fucking honestly.

And the worst thing is that I
can’t really blame my classmates for picking that example, either, but
them for taking the easy way out, but… yet another example about how
everything in our culture is set up to sell sex.  And I’m SO. FUCKING.

*sigh*  But, again, I AM feeling better after sleeping on it.  So, that’s not nothing.



@takethewatch replied to your post “[[MOR] Literally. FUCK. EVERYTHING. I’M WAY TOO ACE FOR THIS CLASS…”

oh no! what was it?

We were learning about ANCOVAs–something that was being taught to us by a fellow student because, long story short, our teacher couldn’t be bothered–and as an example, they picked the dataset about Viagra and libido.  And the entire class was about “Hehe, so basically Viagra doesn’t make a difference unless your partner already wants to fuck you” / ”I guess you could say about the covariate that you’re ‘PULLING IT OUT EHEHEHE” and other kinds of shit like that and I’M SORRY, BUT IT’S NOT FUNNY, IT’S NOT AMUSING, IT’S DISGUSTING, OMG, IT’S SO DISGUSTING AND IT’S NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CLASS, I DON’T CARE HOW OLD WE ARE AND I’M CLEARLY A LOT CLOSER TO SEX REPULSED THAN I THOUGHT I WAS.

I literally had a fucking anxiety attack in the middle of class and I was two seconds away from having to run to the bathroom to go throw up.


I’m so fucking pissed off I can’t even tell you.

@takethewatch replied to your post “It’s that time again…”

yikes! that’s a lot! but i’m sure it’ll be helpful to have it all laid out so neatly. good luck with whatever part of it you take on today! ^_^

The only reason I’m not overwhelmed by it is that this really is the plan for like… the next 2 months.  So the vast majority of it doesn’t have to get done immediately, you know?  Like my plan for today is to get my syllabus and assignments and rubrics squared away (Which I’m almost done with already, BTW!) and to try to get some of the “adulting” category stuff done, because really that’s just photocopying and mailing stuff.  (Why my executive dysfunction kicks in so hard over shit that’s that easy, though, I HAVE NO IDEA, but that’s the stuff I find most difficult.  O_o;;;)  And once that’s out of the way, I have a little breathing space.

(It also helps that I cleaned my desk off from all the weaving detritus.  ^_~)

But you want to know something really weird?  Objectively I know that I always have a lot on my plate, but I always feel like I’m such a slacker.  Because I feel like, “Oh, I only work part-time and really what do I have to be so stressed about, so many people have it worse than I do, stop whining.” 
And it’s only when I lay it out like this that I realize that YEAH, THAT
IS A HUGE AMOUNT OF STUFF I NEED TO DO and it’s like suddenly all my
stress and anxiety makes a bit more sense and it’s like “OK, I guess I am allowed to feel overwhelmed.”  Which is kind of messed up.  That I don’t notice exactly how much is on my plate until someone else points it out or I write it up like this.  O_o;;;

*coughs*  Anyway.  I should shush and get back to my syllabus.  ^_^

Thanks for the good wishes!

@takethewatch replied to your photoset “make an aesthetic for yourself from photos you have on your phone I…”

ahhh what a good aesthetic for you!

^________^  Thanks!  😀  I’m fortunate in that I have like 5000 pictures on my phone (I’M NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING), so it makes it easier to find good pictures.  ^_^  Seriously, I picture hoard.  O_o;;;  Anyway, I’m glad you liked it!  😀

@takethewatch replied to your post “No idea how I managed to get through writing and giving that…”

*hugs*  congrats on getting the presentation done!!  I hope the migraine eases up soon. ❤

Thanks!  My best friend in the cohort (and my partner for this presentation) and I went out to dinner afterwards and then she wouldn’t let me pay.  *snerts*   We had a lot of fun though and one of these days I’m going to manage to snag the check before she does.  I will!  *determined face*  As for the migraine… it made getting to sleep really not so easy last night, but once I did (and slept like… 10 or 11 hours O_o;;;) then I felt better.  It’s mostly gone by now.  ^_^

make an aesthetic for yourself from photos you have on your phone

I haven’t done one of these in a while and I saw @takethewatch do it a few days ago and thought I’d jump on the bandwagon.  ^_^  She did 9, but I was having trouble even narrowing it to 10, so I stopped trying.  As a side note, it amuses me to no end how many of these are from my favorite arboretum.  *snerts*

(Also, if you look closely, I snuck the scarf in there that I just finished.  ^_~  It’s being washed at the moment and once it’s done blocking/drying, I’ll post real pictures.  So, sometime tomorrow, maybe?)

Anyone who would like to do it, too, feel free to @ me so I can see yours!  ^_^)

@takethewatch replied to your post “Enjolras and Feuilly <3”

ahhh i love the idea of Enjolras’s fumbling and awkwardness being exactly what Feuilly needs to feel comfortable around him!

I’M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.  XD  Honestly, “awkward fumbling Enjolras” is one of my favorite headcanons about him?  Like he’s suave as heck during public speaking, but get him one-on-one (especially around someone he admires) and he turns into Awkward McFumblepants.  ^_^  And since Feuilly does NOT trust people who seem perfect, the first time Enjolras drops that conversational ball is SUCH a relief for him.  And getting to know Enjolras restores his faith in people.  ^_^  AND THEN THEY ARE ADORABLE ALL OVER EACH OTHER EVER AFTER.  ^___________^