the signs, first impression/ when you get to know them


Aries: kind, helpful and very confident/ fucking bossy but gets shit done

Taurus: cute, quiet and sweet/ strong minded and a giant shit talker

Gemini: funny, loud and annoying/ emotional trainwreck that hides it w/ humor

Cancer: nice, emotive and happy/ giant nerd that makes bad puns

Leo: warm hearted, giving and generous/ stares at the floor a lot, likes hugs

Virgo: shy, anxious and talented/ nice af and always thinking about space

Libra: beautiful, social and oblivious / super intelligent and really clumsy

Scorpio: grumpy, distant and a bit rude/ totally cute, dorky ball of anxious fluff

Sagittarius: strange, optimistic and hot/ really attached to their music, ditzy

Capricorn: passive, well liked and adorable/ super aggressive when mad

Aquarius: super smart, quirky and stubborn/ will love you no matter what, total sweetheart

Pisces: weird af, shy and artsy fartsy/ totally talented weirdo who gets excited by art supplies


The signs as things that really happened to Marius Pontmercy

Aries: Suddenly appeared at his friend’s doorstep and proclaimed “I’ve come to sleep with you.”
Taurus: Had an in depth conversation with his brand new girlfriend before even telling her his name.
Gemini: Randomly shouted “Long live the Emperor!” out of the window in the middle of the night.
Cancer: Didn’t understand why girls were looking at him and ran away from them. His friend had to explain to him that the reason girls were staring was that he was actually kind of hot.
Leo: Ordered 100 cards with his name “Le Baron Marius Pontmercy” on them, even though he had no one to give them to.
Virgo: Gave a passionate speech about Napoleon Bonaparte in a room full of young Republicans.
Libra: Didn’t have a black coat he needed, only a green one, so he only went out when it was dark because the darkness made the coat look like it was black.
Scorpio: Got angry and jealous when the wind raised his crush’s skirt a bit because “someone could have seen it”.
Sagittarius: Left an overly long love letter in his crush’s garden beneath a stone.
Capricorn: Was dragged through the sewers of Paris by his future papa-in-law.
Aquarius: Made out with his future papa-in-law’s handkerchief.
Pisces: Slammed his head against a tree for two hours.