as ur friendly Neighborhood Nursing Student™ i feel somewhat compelled to remind everyone with the hot weather:
- every liquid except sea water and alcohol hydrates you. It’s not CHUG WATER OR DIE. in fact, gatorade and the like are designed to hydrate you efficiently.
- yeah, this includes coffee and tea and soda. the diuretic is not enough to cancel out the liquid. juices and milk have solids in them, sure, but they’re also mostly liquid! it counts.
- your body can only absorb so much water at a time, so chugging 64 oz of water at noon and calling it good will do a wonderful job of flushing your kidneys, but not so much of hydrating your tissues. it’s more important that you’re getting consistent fluid throughout the day.
- there’s a lot of fancy ways to determine How Much Water (Liquid) I Should Drink but honestly? 8 oz (1 cup) every other hour on cool days and 8 oz every hour on hot days should be fine (assuming you sleep for a normal amount of time per day…. i’m assuming ur awake 16 hours a day.)
- figure out how many oz each of ur favorite cups is. it’ll help your guesstimation.
- if ur urine is darker than light yellow, you’re dehydrated.
- if u pinch the skin on the back of ur hand for a couple seconds and it takes more than a second or two go to back to normal then ur dehydrated.
In regards to #1, don’t take this as an excuse to drink the sugar water that they call sports drinks. They aren’t bad for you per se, but please choose water.
actually this entire post was written in the spirit of ppl using it as an excuse to drink sports drinks and soda etc
ppl have been commenting abt sodium levels in soda and sugar levels in sports drinks and thats all well and good but what i’ve noticed is that people who internalize “well, ONLY WATER hydrates me” but who HATE WATER remain horrifically dehydrated cause they dont drink anything.
so like. if ur a person who haaaaates tap water, this is absolutely me giving you permission to drink whatever fluid you can stomach. please take this as a direct excuse to drink nothing but gatorade if that’s what it takes to get enough fluid into ur body.
it’s not the healthiest for you, sure, but you’re a smart enough person to know that. please drink fluids anyways.
if u like water thats gr8. if you can stomach water that’s gr8. if you can’t, that’s okay too, and you need to stay hydrated just as much as anyone else, so please drink.
Anakin Skywalker & Obi-Wan Kenobi ~ Obikin
I still had one of these! It’s stoooooooone old … o.o
Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”
And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”
Her response was, “Well, are you?”
My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.
The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”
I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.
Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular – but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.
Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.
Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place – when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.
Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.
Signal boost to this unbelievably important message.
Thank you for this.
Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving.
you know, that luceno quote from labyrinth of evil gets posted all the time, but my favorite part is the bit that usually gets cut off.
“And you, Master. What does your heart tell you you’re meant for?”
“Infinite sadness,” Obi-Wan said, even while smiling.
[aka: don’t ever come talk to me about obi-wan if you’re not ready to talk about hope and faith, because that is his essential core; hope on the days when he can look up and still see Light, and faith for the days when he can’t. faith carries him across the clouded patches, to starry skies and potential, possibility – dizzying promises of rebirth. he is able to smile, even in his grief, because he accepts this for what it is, that the new world will not be for him, does not need to be for him – it is enough that the new world will be.
force knows none of them were created for a life of ease. to be bereft of all his mortal loves is a burden, maybe, but to be still in the Light – that is enough, for a jedi.]
On a personal note. I’ve
met wonderful people throughout fandoms and by leaving comments. I’ve made
great friends, some even on comment sections, as we shared our enthusiasm for
the same story.
People who like the same ships often hold similar character
traits and life experiences; they’re people who would get you. The bonds in fandoms only strengthen when people meet other
people as humans – and there are fantastic humans waiting to meet you.
Leave a comment. 🙂
For Data Collected
For this, I’ve used AO3, currently the most popular fanfiction
I’ve taken the first ranked story in each ship, completed, rated
by kudos – since bookmarks on AO3 can be set to private so the counters don’t
reflect the real numbers – to reflect the stories that had the most positive
feedback in their category.
For the comments, I’ve (falsely and intentionally) assumed the
numbers represented are singular comments from singular, different users
(tipping the scales in favor of the commenters). For Destiel, Johnlock and
Spirk I had to pick the second story by kudos, since for the first the
deviation error (assuming the author haven’t replied and there aren’t
discussion threads included in the comments) was far too high for the ratio to
be accurate, and my initial assumption couldn’t be applied. My apologies to the
The data was collected on
May 2nd , 2016.))
I’m not ace myself, so I’m coming at the whole acephobia thing from an outsider’s perspective, and as such, it’s not my place to speak to the experience of those on the receiving end of it.
However, as a bisexual dude, I can observe that many of the arguments that are employed to establish that ace folks have no place in the queer community are strikingly similar – indeed, at times practically word-for-word identical – to the arguments that were for many years (and in some circles still are) employed to establish that bisexual folks have no place in the queer community.
It’s enough to make a guy suspicious on general principle, you know?
I’ve gotten a few messages asking for (well, in some cases more “demanding”) elaboration, so: here are a few of the primary areas in which I’ve observed that arguments against bi inclusion and arguments against ace inclusion tend to exhibit significant overlap. There may well be others – these are simply the ones I’ve run into most frequently.
The Passing Argument
It has been argued that bisexual folks don’t have any grounds to complain about discrimination and violence suffered in relation to their orientation, because a bisexual person is able to pass as straight simply by choosing partners of the appropriate gender. Therefore, any discrimination and violence that a bisexual person does experience must be construed as voluntarily undertaken, since they could have passed, and freely chose not to.
This argument is similarly applied to ace folks via the assertion that being ace poses no particular barrier to seeking a partner of a socially acceptable gender, so any failure to do so must likewise be construed as voluntary.
The Performativity Argument
It has been argued that bisexual folks ought to be excluded from queer communities because sexual orientation is purely performative; i.e., being gay is defined in terms of currently having a sexual partner of the same gender. A bisexual person who has a partner of a different gender is functionally indistinguishable from a straight person, and must therefore be regarded as straight. Conversely, a bisexual person whose current partner is of the same gender must nonetheless be regarded with suspicion, because they could “turn straight” at any time simply by leaving that partner.
This argument is similarly applied to ace folks via the assertion that their orientation has no discernible performative component; an ace person is functionally indistinguishable from a straight person who simply isn’t involved in a sexual relationship at that particular moment, so ace folks must therefore be regarded as straight by default.
(An astute reader may notice that the passing argument dovetails neatly into the performativity argument: those who choose not to seek partners of a socially acceptable gender may be dismissed because any violence and discrimination they experience is a consequence of their voluntary failure to pass, while those who do seek such partners are performatively straight and therefore to be shunned. It’s a neat little system.)
The Mistaken Identity Argument
It has been argued that, while bisexual folks may suffer discrimination and physical and sexual violence, they’re not targeted by such acts because they’re bisexual. Any discrimination and violence a bisexual person suffers in relation to their orientation is suffered because they were mistaken for a gay person. Any effort on their part to discuss such experiences is therefore to be regarded as appropriative, in spite of the fact that they personally experienced it. In short, a bisexual person’s own experience of violence and discrimination doesn’t truly “belong” to them: it “belongs” to the purely hypothetical gay person their persecutors allegedly mistook them for.
This argument is applied to ace folks practically verbatim – no particular adaptation is necessary.
I have nothing to add except my gratitude for this
So I don’t know about you, but I’m often frustrated by the ridiculous smallness of girls’ pockets. At a bare minimum, I need to be able to shove my cellphone in there – come on, pants companies! So what I started doing was making myself pocket extenders. I’ve done this several times, for pants and shorts. It’s great.
I just got this pair of jeans, so I thought I’d show you how to do it. I kind of feel like it just hasn’t occurred to some of you that this is an option, so maybe now it will. All you need is your pants, some fabric (I just took a random piece from a scrap bin), a needle, and some thread (thread doesn’t even need to match the fabric since literally no one will see it).
See? Ridiculous. Like, half a cellphone, or only 2.5″. Useless.
So turn those inside out to expose the pockets.
Figure out how big you want your pockets to actually be. I kinda go by whatever looks like might be right. I didn’t
really measure them. Fold the fabric in half, so you have a pocket, and
then fold it in half again so you can have two equal ones.
Try to get the edges to line up enough, pin it in place, then sew up the sides! Are your stitches crazy uneven and wonky looking? Doesn’t matter; nobody’s going to see it. These are in the inside of your pants. The only thing that matters is that it holds up. So I double-did the corners, since those tend to get the most stress.
Cut open the bottom of the existing pockets.
Pin it in place, then sew around, joining the new pocket to the old pocket. I did this by keeping my hand on the inside, so I wouldn’t accidentally sew through the other side. Again, I reinforced the corners, and didn’t worry about what it actually looks like. Then I turned it in side out to make sure the inside was all joined properly.
Yay all done! And the pockets are so much bigger now!
Whaaaat I can fit my entire phone and entire hand and probably something else now, are girls’ pockets even allowed to do that?! Heck yeah they are.
You are a goddamn hero.
Guys are probably just like “why would I do this… oh.”
hi okay if you don’t know any hijabis/muslims personally, you might be wondering how it “works” and im here to answer ur questions!!
Q: Do you like.. wear it all the time?? (re: do u shower in it?? do u sleep in it?? when was the last time u sAW UR OWN HAIR??? )
A: Nope! To put it simply, we wear the hijab when we are around strange men. And by strange I mean men who are not directly related to us. That means I can show my hair to women. It also means I don’t have to cover from my brother/father/uncle/grandfather/child. I would have to cover from my male cousins because you can technically marry them (note: this is only one of the reasons we cover! it’s not only to cover from possible suitors lol. Just bc I wouldn’t marry a gay man, doesn’t mean I don’t have to cover from him. The quran says to cover from men and not from women. that’s pretty broad and open for interpretation. I keep it simple for myself- I cover from all men and do not cover from any women, regardless of sexual orientation. This could differ from one hijabi to another). I also would not have to cover from my husband if I were married. Lastly, we don’t have to cover from any young boys who haven’t been “through puberty” yet. I guess it’s up to the individual to decide when that is as well.
Q: It seems kind of sexist to me that men don’t have to wear hijab, but women do…
A: Actually, men have their own hijab. (It’s not the turban you may see some men wearing, they are Sikhs, an entirely different religion.) Men have their own modest dress code to follow and are expected to follow the same rules the women do action-wise. Remember that equal does not have to mean identical. It wouldn’t make sense to ask men to cover their boobs or women to grow beards (we’ll come back to that later).
Q: I always hear about women being forced to wear it… That’s oppression and wrong.
A: I completely agree. “There shall be no compulsion in [acceptance of] the religion” (2/256). That’s taken directly from the Quran. Forcing someone to wear the hijab is a sin. Furthermore, many Muslims believe that hijab is not required/is only preferred/is optional. There’s a lot of interpretation involved in religion. It totally depends on the person and their own beliefs.
They way a Muslim chooses to wear their hijab also differs from person to person. Some women choose to cover their entire body. Some wear abayas (the black dress) and niqabs (the veil that covers the face). Some wear a simple scarf to cover their hair and dress “modestly” (this, again, depends on your interpretation of what modest means). Some just cover their hair. Some show a some of their hair. Some wear turbans. Some dress modestly, but don’t cover their hair. Some only wear it on certain occasions. (more here on the diff types of cover)
For men, some choose to grow beards (many believe this is just “sunnah” which means it is preferred, but not compulsory). Lots of men don’t follow the rules set for them. That can be due to personal beliefs, but I won’t deny the misogyny apparent in the Muslim culture (note: culture, not religion) probably has a lot to do with that.
Q: Do women only wear hijab for religious reasons?
A: No. I mean, that’s probably one of the most prominent reasons women choose to cover their hair, but there are many different factors. In many cultures, hijab is considered a thing of beauty. It’s a fashion statement (for Muslims, we’ll talk about cultural appropriation in a sec). It’s tradition. It’s a part of their identity. It keeps them in-tact with their religion and it identifies them as a Muslim to other Muslims. The reasons are endless, but I think you get the picture.
Q: I heard hijab is just keep men away.
A: As @angrymuslimah put so eloquently: Hijab is not to prevent men from looking at women or “protect them” from men. Hijab is not for men, or to help men control themselves – it’s for women themselves, to empower women. Men in Islam have a responsibility to lower their gaze and respect a woman no matter what she is wearing or what she looks like.
Q: Can women ever take the hijab off for safety reasons? (ie: heat exhaustion/possible attacks by islamophobes)
A: Totally! You’re obviously never supposed to compromise your health for anything, regardless of your religious beliefs. I once got asked if it would be okay for a women to remove her scarf when playing soccer in serious heat and my answer she could if she wanted to (again, she can do wtvr she wants), but playing soccer is optional. there’s a difference between wanting to play soccer and really having your life in danger. If hijabis choose to wear the hijab while playing soccer in 100 degrees, they’re badass and props to them for sticking to it even when it got hard, but that’s kind of the point of hijab. Again though, your health always comes first.
Q: I see hijabis sometimes and I want to compliment them/tell them it’s pretty, but I don’t want to be disrespectful.
A: It’s totally okay to compliment us! Please do! I live for the validation of strangers! For real, though. Just think about it this way, if you can say it to a non-hijabi and not offend her, you can probably say it to a hijabi. You can compliment anyone on their scarf regardless of where it is on their body.
Q: Can I wear the hijab if I’m not Muslim?
A: There is no specific way to wear a hijab. there is no specific fabric. We get our scarves from h&m and forever 21 like everyone else. There is nothing that identifies a hijab as a hijab except the wearer. So if you want to cover your hair for your own religious/personal reasons, you can do it! That doesn’t make it a hijab! The only thing that makes it a hijab is the wearer labeling it as a hijab. As long as you aren’t doing that, you’re not being disrespectful or appropriating our religion. (wearing it out of respect if you’re in a mosque or a predominately muslim country is also okay!)
I would however, advise against wearing it as a fashion statement. It’s not a style or accessory.
/So this got really long and I’m stopping here but I haven’t even really made a dent in the hijabi discourse. If yall have any more questions, you should ask your friendly neighborhood Muslimah! I promise, we won’t be offended, we just want yall to know the truth.
“We have an unsanctioned departure from bay two.”
∟ Thomas Brodie-Sangster in Star Wars: The Force Awakens
What a great question, and thank you for asking!
So in college I took this class called Gays and Lesbians in Film, better known as Spot the Gay. The class was structured entirely around watching movies and pointing out the queer characters, then we wrote papers explaining why we thought they were gay.
The idea of queer coding is that censorship laws dictated homosexuality couldn’t be portrayed in movies, and thus filmmakers had to sneak it in with hints of characters so that the gay audience could see them (but no one else could). This gives the notion of “coding” dual meaning: it refers to The Code (what they called the censorship laws), as well as creating a kind of language between the films and the gay audience. This is why I don’t buy into “gay interpretation” or the idea of “subtext” because often this coding is put in intentionally, to be read overtly, as actual text.
They did this by using stereotypes. The primary gay stereotype in the Star Wars universe is C3PO, who is the perfect portrayal of The Sissy, or the flamboyant/effeminate gay man who functions in the plot as the comedic relief.
Obi-Wan in the original trilogy is more subtly coded though, because his stereotype is generally portrayed by women. The Spinster character is usually reserved for lesbians, women who have been betrayed by those they love and opt to live in solitude. We generally meet Spinsters post-trauma, and they’re nearly always emotionally dissonant. Spinster stories tend to end one of two ways depending on their function in the plot: they find A Man and change their lesbian ways, or they get to die the way they lived—really fucking gay.
But the prequel trilogy has much more nuance for Obi-Wan to be queer coded because 1. he has more screen time and 2. the prequels defy most action movie storytelling conventions by introducing more complicated plots generally reserved for other mediums.
In TPM, Obi-Wan’s relationship with his Master Qui-Gon mirrors Greco-Roman pederasty, which is further supported by the epic Roman historic narrative of the prequels. And if that doesn’t convince you, there’s this:
I always lump together AotC and RotS because they essentially function as one story. In these, we see the relationship of Obi-Wan and Anakin. Regardless of whether or not Obi-Wan’s feelings for Anakin reflect his feelings for Qui-Gon, there are still clear indications of gay coding, namely The Metrosexual. Think, “So uncivilized,” and his high-strung nature that is so often associated with gay men.
Think, too, his articulate and sharp criticisms, his emotional reservation, his dry wit—all common stereotypes of gay men, all frequently used in the history of film to code queerness. Even his disdain for flying could be symbolic of being afraid to get one’s hands dirty, one of the most anti-masculine traits a character could be given.
And as you mention, anon, “I loved you.” There is so, so much in those three words. Even if they were said bereft of romanticism, they are still said. They are said by a man with courage and conviction enough to say them. To dig straight to my point: a heterosexual man does not normally tell another heterosexual man, “I loved you” in film. It just doesn’t happen. They say anything but. They show affection with violence and bloodshed, and Anakin does that. Over and over, he shows that his only true touch is a violent one.
But Obi-Wan? He stops the fight. “I have the high ground,” he says. He ends the heteronormative trope of fighting over love, and he comes right out and says it. “I loved you.” He has the guts to say that, and that alone does not make him straight.
And for two hyper-violent white guys in a multi-million dollar commercial media production, they make a surprisingly feminist duo when coupled with my theory of Anakin as a female coded character (in a similar way to Obi-Wan being queer coded).
But now we’re back to the original trilogy, where, after seeing the prequels, we understand where Obi-Wan has come from. To put it bluntly, Obi-Wan has been scorned. By a man. The betrayal of a man he once loved destroys his entire life, which not only cements his Spinster status, but subverts him entirely as a masculine (read: straight) action hero. Action heroes (aside from Bi AF Steve Rogers) don’t usually get to be scorned by men. They don’t spend their lives pining, agonizing over their mistakes and their losses. Masculine characters don’t get to grieve, and they certainly don’t get to spend most of their lives doing it.
If you just watched the original trilogy, you would see Obi-Wan as the simple mentor sacrifice, little more than a plot device. But the prequels, as much as they’re loathed, create a (gay) nuanced, (gay) tragic (gay) character in (gay) Obi-Wan who defies the bounds of his static archetype.
tl;dr OBI-WAN KENOBI IS RLY GAY