Do you know the thing that really sucks about assigning readings?

*sigh* You have to read them, too. 😛

…oh good.  Another mood crash right when I’m considering going to sleep.

Seriously, wtf is wrong with me?

That’s two nights in a row.

I WAS FINE FIVE MINUTES AGO.

ARGH.

I think this is where I give up and just put myself in bed and pray that I actually fall asleep.  *sigh*  FUCK.

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Oh, hello, sudden random mood nose-dive.

*sigh*

I knew I should have tried to go to bed an hour ago.

Fuck.

*whimper*  OMG, I don’t know what the fuck I did to myself yesterday, but EVERY MUSCLE GROUP ACHES.  Like, things ache so much my hands are trembling and making it hard to type.  D:

And my head aches and my ears ache and my face aches because FUCK GLASSES, THAT’S WHY, and my contacts are so beyond their last legs that I can barely wear them for 6 hours before they dry out and give me trouble and the new pairs I ordered won’t be in until tomorrow, so I’m stuck in my glasses for a while, but EVERYTHING ACHES.

UGH.

I think this is maybe a cue that I should just take off my glasses and bury my nose in a book for the day, even though I have a paper to write and fic to write.  *sigh*

But damn it, I HURT.  And I hurt worse when I get up.  And there’s a definite storm brewing, so that’s not helping.  UGHHHHHHH.  Stupid body.

eirenical:

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OK, nope.  I take back the part about feeling better.

Everything is making me jump out of my skin and I still feel queasy.  And it’s almost 11 and I’m not even TIRED and I just have this sinking feeling that I’ll be tossing and turning all night and end up feeling even worse tomorrow.

FUck. EVERYTHING.

*headdesk*

as a side note: KIDS.  IF YOU EMAIL YOUR P.ROFESSORS OVER THE SUMMER AND THEY ACTUALLY EMAIL YOU BACK WITHIN 12 HOURS?  FUCKING RESPOND TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU GOT THEIR ANSWER.  PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY.  WE SIT HERE AND STEW IN OUR A.NXIETY OVER YOUR EXPECTATIONS JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO OVER OURS.

that is all. thank you.

i’m having a really shit night

something’s just… not right in my head right now

i’m a ridiculous ball of depressive anxiety and i’m hungry and queasy at the same time and i can’t stand being in my house because i can’t fucking sit still but there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do and no one to do it with and everything hurts in this vague and annoying way that i can’t really do anything about

*sigh*  i wish i could just go to sleep and have a mulligan on this whole fucking shithole of a day

Fuuuuuuuck.

I’m so tired that I have a headache and I can’t get comfortable and the temperature in my room is all wrong and the ac is making this whiny noise that I can’t ignore and can’t shut down because then it’ll be even hotter and–

*sigh* hello insomnia, my old friend…

Fuck.

OMG, somebody please, please, please, tell me to get my ass in gear.  I HAVE ONE ARTICLE LEFT TO REVIEW AND THEN I’M DONE WITH THIS CLASS FOREVER (except for my qualifying exam in August).  I JUST WANT TO BE DONE.  *sobs softly*

(unfortunately, a trip to the doctor utterly derailed my motivation this afternoon and now i’m dragging so so badly, please someone kick my ass into gear for me.  TT^TT)

I have class in about two hours.  I’ve mostly done the reading, but it’s just so hot I can’t quite focus?  😛  And I basically have two choices: suffer or say “fuck it” and take this time to put the AC in.  Physically, I’m SO not in the mood for option two… but it makes the most sense to just do it and deal with it, you know?  Especially since it’s going to be this hot all week.  *sigh*

…I really should just do the thing, shouldn’t I?  I’ll thank myself later if I do.

*whine whine whine*  I’M SO SICK OF GRADING.

And there are a bunch of gardeners at work outside, plus the guys doing construction and using a bandsaw at the house behind mine.  And the only thing saving my sanity with these tests was the fresh air I was getting outside.  But now it’s SO. LOUD.

*sigh*

I just wish I didn’t feel like every one of these tests was like a punch to the gut.  Because so many of these kids made mistakes that just make me think… did you listen to a thing I said all semester?  And if not, then what was the point?  Just… ARGH.

It’s disheartening.

I hate final exams.

*sigh*

ETA: BAHAHAHAHA.  THEY’RE OUR GARDENERS.  Fuck. Me.  *headdesk*