you know the headcanon where Bossuet and Feuilly have a lifehack youtube channel?
I have a better idea: they have a a lifehack testing youtube channel (with scientific and ‘scientific’ explanations from Joly)
Enjolras cried: “Listen to me, you, Feuilly, valiant artisan, man of the people. I revere you. Yes, you clearly behold the future, yes, you are right. You had neither father nor mother, Feuilly; you adopted humanity for your mother and right for your father.“
“it will be remembered that she was more of a lark than a dove.”
you know, that luceno quote from labyrinth of evil gets posted all the time, but my favorite part is the bit that usually gets cut off.
“And you, Master. What does your heart tell you you’re meant for?”
“Infinite sadness,” Obi-Wan said, even while smiling.
[aka: don’t ever come talk to me about obi-wan if you’re not ready to talk about hope and faith, because that is his essential core; hope on the days when he can look up and still see Light, and faith for the days when he can’t. faith carries him across the clouded patches, to starry skies and potential, possibility – dizzying promises of rebirth. he is able to smile, even in his grief, because he accepts this for what it is, that the new world will not be for him, does not need to be for him – it is enough that the new world will be.
force knows none of them were created for a life of ease. to be bereft of all his mortal loves is a burden, maybe, but to be still in the Light – that is enough, for a jedi.]
The hit musical Hamilton has opened up auditions in Philadelphia and is looking for both male and female performers for the roles of Aaron Burr and George Washington, according to a casting call on Backstage. Back in January, Lin-Manuel Miranda gave us a taste of an all-female Hamilton. (Video within)
I will travel wherever I’ve got to travel to see a woman play Burr.
the tragedy of anakin skywalker (x)
OH GOD NO BUT THAT WOULD BE PERFECT. how did the jedi not think of that?
what is anakin’s biggest weakness? attachments.
you know who needs lots of attachment? babies. small children.
anakin should not have been made to study murder: he should have been put in charge of Small Things. He would have bonded with all of them instantly, and it would have given his life Meaning and Purpose.
He’d bond with the kids, but he’d be able to move on because they are Bigger now and they have to go to the Big Kid Class but he still sees them around all the time, and it finally teaches him how to let go of his attachments??? He’d find a kid that he’s particularly fond of and go to Obi-Wan and say “I have found your newest padawan.”
this could have fixed so. many. things. ;_____;
Heh, and Anakin would keep picking Obi-Wan’s padawans for him, and it would be annoying but damn if he wasn’t right every single time.
BUT CAN YOU
JUST IMAGINE HOW ANNOYED PALPATINE WOULD BE his life would be never-ending
string of trying to get a hold of Anakin (I mean, would Anakin give him a time of day if he can spend it with small kids who absolutely adore him instead?)
comming over the years, but it’s always like
boy, we haven’t seen each other in a while—“
Chancellor, now’s not the best time. I’m tutoring a class.”
boy, I wonder if we could meet for a chat—“
can’t be this week, we’re going to Ilum, but maybe later…”
I’d like to—“
terribly sorry, Chancellor,” Obi-Wan Kenobi answers. The apologetic tone might
be just a tad exaggerated. “Anakin is on a trip with younglings, he
must’ve left his comlink behind accidentally.”
reached Anakin Skywalker’s private comlink. Leave the message after the tone.”
a shame that Council doesn’t consider sending you on this campaign, considering
the lightsaber skills you demonstrated when I was last visiting the Temple,
Chancellor, but this is precisely why I need to stay behind. In fact just the
last week, the Masters decided I should take over some advanced lightsaber
classes, considering senior Padawans accompanying their Masters on the frontlines
need the training. I might take the Bear Clan along, make it a learning
opportunity for the young ones—“
closes his eyes slowly. He knows this from experience; Anakin won’t let himself
be budged from the topic of little monsters for at least another half an hour.
Chancellor Palpatine. Anakin left his comlink behind again, he’s in class—“
the voice on the other end is distinctly female, and Palpatine recognizes it after
a second. Kenobi’s second Padawan. He barely restrains the urge to gnash his
teeth. “Um, Skyg—I mean, Master Skywalker can’t pick up now. I can tell him you
called? It’s just that he was helping me with forms, and he forgot his comlink,
and he’s probably already in crèche…”
that one time when an actual youngling picks up the call. The less said about his
reaction to that incident, the better.
they were all right in the end. But in my opinion, this should never happened
in the first place, Chancellor.”
snaps awake. Was that… was that anger? Finally, the hours of listening to
worthless drivel about Jedi younglings paid off.
“My boy, I
absolutely agree,” he begins slyly, but before he can continue, Anakin steamrolls
“I think Jedi
Order is too deeply entwined in the conflict! I honestly don’t think even
senior Padawans should be anywhere near battles, not to mention in command of
GAR, but now even younglings are acceptable targets for Separatists and pirates!
Master Yoda and I were talking about this lately, and—“
swallows a scream of rage with some difficulty.
comlink again, Master Skywalker has. With younglings, he is.”
younglings moved to the top on the list of things Darth Sidious will do after
taking over galaxy some time ago.
this post keeps getting better and better
That is what the Council would have done if they were smart. Seriously. Here’s Yoda saying Anakin should not be taught because he senses too much fear in him, and it’s fear for the people he cares about, something everyone present realizes fully because when it comes to his own safety, Anakin couldn’t be more reckless.
Then Qui Gon announces he’s training him anyway, someone points out he might fulfill the prophecy and bring balance to the Force, and nobody, NOBODY, thinks that MAYBE giving him a job that’s more about caring than killing might be an idea. Nope. Okay, we’re training him, let’s foster the loose canon aspect of his personalities, make him a war general and keep pushing him into vicious battles to the death. Sounds perfect for his mental health.
The Jedi Council were a bunch of idiots with their head so far up their own asses even a lightsaber shoved up there to the hilt would not provide them enough light to see further than their own noses.
I think I got lost somewhere in this metaphor. You get the point.
After ten years, Palpatine loses his patience and decides to change his plans. Fuck it, Skywalker has kids now–two adorable little moppets who can be captured, broken, and twisted into twin powerhouses of the Dark Side. Torture one while the other watches, convince them Daddy doesn’t love them, easy-peasy.
Unfortunately, he fails to reckon with the fact that not only is he going up against Anakin Fucking Skywalker, but that Anakin Fucking Skywalker is the surrogate father/big brother/best friend/cool teacher of ninety percent of the current Padawans and young Knights in the Order. And while the Council might make decisions and talk about the Will of the Force and stuff, those Padawans and Knights only care about the fact that the man who scared away the monsters under the bed–made it feel less lonely and frightening to be away from home when they were small–is now hurting and scared for his own children.
Just like Palpatine always wanted, Anakin ends up leading an army. An army of young Jedi who smash the ever-loving shit out of everything “Darth Sidious” can throw at them, rescue the terrified Skywalker twins, and drag the Chancellor hisownself before the Senate with conclusive proof that he’s an evil Dark-Side-wielding bastard who kidnaps adorable kids.
Luke and Leia would have grown up with 500 brothers and sisters of assorted species. Whenever you see Anakin there are 10 kids with him, occasionally actively hanging off of his arms or riding on his shoulders. (Anakin looks downright gleeful about this). Padme thinks it’s the most adorable thing ever.
20 years later by the time “A New Hope” would have begun, Anakin is 45. Padme is the new Chancellor. Luke and Leia are finishing their own Jedi training. 90% of the current young Jedi order calls Anakin ‘Dad’. He has amassed the galaxy’s largest collection of refrigerator art. After that incident with Chancellor Palpatine 15 years back, Yoda was forced to admit to Qui Gon’s very smug force-ghost that he was right. Everything is right with the galaxy.
I am so sorry this ate my brain and then things ran away from me. I AM SORRY.
So. Anakin leads an army to retrieve his children and it’s this twisted version of everything Sidious ever wanted and he’s prepared for that.
But Sidious always underestimates how love changes things. And while he’s prepared to fight Anakin’s devoted army of former crechelings, he underestimates how that’s changed the rest of the Order.
Because Obi-Wan is quieter about whom and how he loves but doesn’t make it any less strong. When Obi-Wan loves someone it is unconditional and unyielding and he has never loved anyone as much as he loves Anakin Skywalker. Then the twins are born and Anakin is bashfully about it but he’s not ashamed and of course Obi-Wan has to know, he can’t imagine Obi-Wan not knowing his children (Obi-Wan totally already knows, he has been rolling his eyes about this for months and waiting for Anakin to come to him so he doesn’t spook him or for Padme to knock some freaking sense into him, which she does, because not-dying Padme is scary post-pregnancy and not willing to deal with the stupid anymore) and then Padme hands him Leia and everything stutters to a halt for a moment because oh, oh no, Anakin has found him another padawan.
There is no one Obi-Wan will ever love as fiercely as Anakin, except for Anakin’s children, who may as well be his own children. And he knows from the moment he first holds her that Leia will be the greatest Jedi he ever has a hand in raising.
(It becomes a joke among the Knights and Masters at the temple after the Skywalker twins arrive. If you even think that you might like to take Leia as your padawan, you can feel Obi-Wan glare at you no matter where he is in the galaxy.)
And when Sidious kidnaps Anakin’s children – his future padawan – Obi-Wan is the only Jedi in the galaxy who can put a hand on Anakin’s shoulder and say we need a distraction to do this safely, trust me to bring them home for you. Anakin will lead the frontal assault and tear down all of Sidious’ carefully constructed plans. Obi-Wan will sneak in and safeguard their children and bring them home.
That’s the plan, anyway.
Here’s what none of them expected:
When Luke Skywalker came screaming and red-faced into the world, an ancient, meddling, troll of a Jedi Master who had vowed never to take another padawan felt it and thought: fuck.
Whereas Leia is, even as a child, stubborn and willful and silk hiding steel, Luke is twin balls of sunshine. Raised among Jedi, he is so bright a presence it hurts. Even raised among Jedi, he wears his heart on his sleeve and has absolutely no guile and he pouts when the cafeteria doesn’t serve his favourite dessert but will cheerfully walk across the room and give it to someone else if he senses that person is still hungry. The first time Luke sees Yoda he stares at him, all big blue eyes and pudgy baby hands, then grabs his ears and won’t let go. Everyone is horrified. Yoda harrumphs at him and tell him, “Patience, young one.” He toddles after Yoda from the time he can crawl and no matter how grouchy Yoda seems he never actively dissuades him from it.
After the twins enter the temple, Anakin always knows not to worry if Luke is missing from the crèche. Yoda will escort him back sooner or later.
(He’s always much more worried when Leia disappears because, yes, Obi-Wan will bring her back but they’ll have always gotten into trouble in the meantime.)
Yoda does not confront Darth Sidious. Yoda does not lose his duel with the Sith lord and become diminished because of it. Yoda is with Obi-Wan, sneaking into his stronghold to see the twins safe. Yoda cannot go Sith hunting when Luke is in pain and gently clinging to him, his arms around his neck, bruised and bleeding and smiled at Yoda when he saw him because Luke knew he would come.
(Sidious cannot win, with them. Leia would risk her home being obliterated rather than betray her righteous cause. Luke would willingly walk into flames rather than give up on those he loves. It hurts, oh it hurts, to see the other in pain, but Leia can watch Luke being hurt and know there are more important things at stake than the two of them and Luke can watch Leia being hurt and trust that they will be saved.)
Sidious escapes but his Empire falls before it solidifies. He will never be as powerful as he needs to be.
(It’s Anakin who notices there is something wrong with the clones. He’s not their General but Obi-Wan is and Obi-Wan is a good general. When Obi-Wan is hurt, they’re all nosey and worried and Anakin – all but glued to his former Master’s bedside when it’s really bad and first and foremost a mechanic – can tell that something is wrong. He’s not always with them so it never becomes familiar, it never becomes normal, and it niggles at the back of his brain until he’s sitting in front of Obi-Wan’s bacta tank – old training bond humming between them because Obi-Wan hates drugs and hates being sedated and he stays quieter and heals faster if Anakin is there to keep him calm – and Rex walks in to check on the General and Anakin turns around to look at him and he sees it.
The Jedi Order quietly deprograms the clone army. They trace the chip back to Palpatine. Padme and Bail Organa and Mon Mothma start quietly amassing information against him and his allies – enough for criminal charges, pushing Sidious to show his hand and try to kidnap the twins.)
Obi-Wan takes Leia as his Padawan the second she’s old enough for it to be proper. They are scarily well matched. If he was the Jedi’s best hope to keep planets from succeeding during the war, together they can talk whole systems into rejoining the rebuilding Republic.
Yoda leaves Luke in the crèche until the day before his thirteenth birthday. Everyone is worried except Luke (who knows he is meant to be a Jedi and knows Master Yoda is meant to teach him and trusts this, since he was raised in the Temple. It’s easier to have faith when you’ve always had it and it’s never been wrong). Fourteen Jedi have tried to ask him to be their apprentice. Yoda bashed twelve of them over the head with his stick before they could and Luke turned two down himself, the last three days before his birthday. He spends his last day as a twelve-year old following his dad around, both of them a little clingier than usual. Anakin has always thought that Yoda intended to take Luke as his Padawan but he’s literally hours from aging out and he’s seriously considering comming Ashoka and begging her to come act as backup, when Luke suddenly hugs Anakin hard and quick and Anakin looks over and sees Yoda waiting in the doorway.
Anakin hugs Luke back very, very tightly and then he lets him go. Luke already has his few things packed and waiting. Yoda harrumphs at him. “Ready, you are, padawan mine?”
Luke’s smile is blinding. “Yes, Master.”
Leia talks star systems into rejoining the Republic. Luke returns the Fallen to the Jedi. Dooku is the first and most fleeting (having not been killed by Anakin) – having been betrayed and split from Sidious – Luke finds him when he’s dying and gets Yoda to him in time for him to pass them information on Sidious’ new schemes and die a Jedi, with his old master at his side. There are others, after that, who Fell during the war and didn’t think they could ever return from it. Luke, bright and shiny and full of faith, sees them, thinks, I can fix this, and brings them home one by one.
After the second Return, which is unavoidably public, Leia and Obi-Wan look at each other and enlist everyone they can to begin working to make Luke the new poster boy for the Order. Luke is intensely embarrassed by this and a bit bumbling and shy about it, which just makes it more attractive to everyone. It also keeps the spotlight well away from their rebuilding efforts, which are way easier when there’s less press exposure.
Sidious, who would still like to capture and corrupt the twins, eventually stops trying with Luke because there’s only a 50/50 anyone he sends after him will come back and between years of Yoda’s training (ie dodging his stick), Luke’s innate Force sense and his dumb luck he’s practically impossible to kill.
(Sidious dies ignobly at the hands of a new apprentice, one of the Fallen who Luke has been trying to save. His defeat was always going to be someone else’s redemption.)
#I HAVE SO MANY FEELS ABOUT THIS META#GUYS#Luke getting to be Yoda’s Padawan properly MAKES ME SO HAPPY#Obi-Wan and Leia are a DREAM TEAM#They are FRIGHTENING TOGETHER#PADME IS SO PROUD#LUKE IS A LITTLE BALL OF WHINY SUNSHINE AND YODA JUST DELIGHTS HIM#MACE LAUGHS AT YODA FOREVER ABOUT IT#UNTIL BEN FUCKING SOLO COMES ALONG AND MACE IS ALL MOTHERFUCKER#I am also going to have to write that piece of meta because Ben as Mace Windu’s Padawan ARGH#I WANT TO WRITE ALL THE STORIES IN THIS VERSE (via @dreamer-wisher-liar)
Ah thank you!
Joly and Courfeyrac were friends from the start–of course they were, who wouldn’t be friends with Joly or Courfeyrac?– but they actually had a rough patch right at first, though you’d have to have known them both well to realize it was a rough patch, because hey, they got along, they had fun, they never minded each other’s company…but there were a few awkward lags in conversation, the odd joke failed between them, just all kinds of little missed conversational exchanges and moments that didn’t quite sync. And it drove them both up the wall, because hey, they liked the other person! That was clearly a good friendly person! He was friends with their friends! What is going on.
!!!!!! AND FEUILLY THINKS HE LOVES IT?! He legit thinks Bahorel ADORES black coffee, so he orders different kinds, stuff that is supposed to be more fruity, or chocolaty or whatever fancy coffee, just for him.
And Bahorel pretends so well that for 5 months he drinks black coffee with his teeth clenched but a smile onto his lips because he gave Feuilly a well deserved five minute break. For their first date, they go to another coffee shop and this time Bahorel orders his usual extravaganza of a drink and Feuilly is like “Oh I didn’t know you liked that, you never order that.”
“It’s because I like you more.”
the idea of two aromantic platonic partners having a “convenience marriage” is like my favorite thing right now I’m both getting really excited and cracking up over the possibilities I mean just imagine:
- “we got married because of tax benefits”
- “we got married because it gave us an excuse to have sleepovers every night”
- “we got married because it seemed convenient to ‘pool our assets’ (aka our library is now twice as big, as is our collection of Disney movies)”
- “we got married because it gave us an excuse to ask for toasters from people as wedding gifts”
#we got married because weddings are really exciting and we can plan it how we want it and it doesn’t need to include kissing bc that can be weird#but it gives us an excuse to have a dessert table#because dESSERT TABLE#I just want dessert table festivities#festivities around a dessert table#ahh#desssseeeeerrrrrt#CHEESECAKES THOOOOOOOO#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
this is the most important addition anyone has made to this post bless you and may the Force be with you my friend
#aromantic couple that learns about the practice of getting married again to ‘reaffirm your commitment’#and proceeds to get married every year#and every year the dessert table is bigger and more extravagent#and they start experimenting with variations on the ceremony (x)
#we got married because we only needed to buy one copy of each book #we got married because then no one goes to the movies alone #we got married because then we got to design WEDDING CLOTHES #we got married because pillow fights #we got married because this makes emergency contact info much easier #we got married because weirding out conservatives (x)
We got married because broadway duets while doing chores, we got married because HALF AS MANY CHORES, we got married because surprise cookies on bad days, we got married because surprise cookies on GOOD days, we got married so we’d never have to ask the other if we could come over today again, we got married so our parents would stop asking (x)
#we got married because someone will get meds when we’re sick #we got married because secondary income #we got married because joint big finish account #we got married because two people can walk more dogs than one person which means more dogs #we got married because broadway duets while doing anything #we got married because only one of us likes cooking and the other is fine with dishes #we got married because both of us like cooking and we can trade off #we got married because help with disabilities and someone who doesn’t judge #we got married because of the satisfaction of hearing ‘have you found someone yet’ and getting to say ‘yes’ and hang up #we got married because anniversary parties are even more fun than weddings #MORE DESSERT TABLES #we got married because couples discounts on things (x)